I seem to have earned my first negative point. All I did is post some jokes. Somebody likely did not like my Sardar jokes. People seem to be pretty serious here.
WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW
CORPORATE LESSON # 1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife
is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds
of arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife
gives up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When
she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before
she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $ 800 just to drop that towel
that you have on". After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her
towel and stands naked in front of Bob. Bob has a close look at her for
a few seconds, hands over $800 and quietly leaves. Confused, but
excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and
goes upstairs.! When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from
the shower "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she
replies. "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the! $
800 he owes me?"
MORAL OF THE STORY: Share critical credit information with your
stakeholders to prevent avoidable exposure!
CORPORATE LESSON # 2 A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the
side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she gladly
accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and
reveal a lovely leg. The priest had a look and nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The
nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember psalm 129?"
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced himself to
remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from her
leg. Further on, while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg
again.The nun once again said, "Father, remember psalm 129?" Once again the
priest apologized. "Sorry sister, but the mind is weak." Arriving at
the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful lance and went on her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible
and looked up psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you
will find glory."
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job; or, you might miss
great opportunities!
CORPORATE LESSON # 3 Usually the junior executives and staff of the
company generally play football; the middle level managers are more
interested in tennis and the top management usually has a preference
for Golf.
CORPORATE FINDING: As you go up the corporate ladder, the balls reduce
in size.
CORPORATE LESSON # 4 A young executive was leaving the office at 6 PM when
he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of
paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive
and important document and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing
work?" "Certainly, Sir" said the young executive. He turned the machine
on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent,
excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine.
"I just need one copy."
MORAL OF THE STORY- Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything.
CORPORATE LESSON # 5 There were these 4 guys, Russian President Putin,
Germany's Chancellor Kohl, Pakistan Dictator Musharraf and French
Premiere Chirac who found this small genie bottle. When they ! rubbed
the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him
out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I
will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump,
you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish
will
come true." The French Premiere Chirac wanted to start. He ran towards
the pool, jumped and shouted WINE". The pool immediately changed into a
pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the
pool. Next is the Russian President Putin turn, he did the same and
shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German
was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with
his beer pool. The last is Pakistan's Musharraf . He was running towards
the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the
pool and shouted, "*"!!!........."
MORAL OF THE STORY Mind your language, you never know what it will land you
in.
AuthorTopic: Nice Jokes (Read 1198 times)
March 28, 2012, 09:16:09 PM