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[ruchir]

After the historic 1st Test victory against SA, TV Channel Kab-Tak? wasted no time in contacting Srinath, who was already in SA, to get hold of our beloved captain Inzy for an interview. Srinath searched Inzy high and low and found him in a bar enjoying his 5th round with boyz.

Srinath -- Hello, lady and gent. This is Srinath and you are watching my very own personal programme, The Sriway. I am here to talkingly interview Inzy, ang acquiringly get his views on the historic Test win. Aaah, I can see Inzy is enjoying a drink... or.... 5?? with his boyz. Inzy, how are you doing?
Inzy -- As-Salaam-Alaikum. Bismillah ur Reham Al Rahim. First of all, iz, thanks to Allah. Iz, yeezzzzz,iz you iz who? Hain ji?

Srinath -- Inzy, you forgetfully forgot me? I am Srinath, your mate.
Inzy -- Iz, what? I iz only a mate to wife. I not iz a like Raina.

Srinath -- No, no, Inzy. I am Srinath. Ex-Indian pace bowler.
Inzy -- Ooohhh... I iz a sory. Iz, I not recognize to you in a glass. Hain ji?

Srinath -- No problem, Inzy. So, what are you mentally feeling after the Test win?
Inzy -- Iz, I can a not iz a talk. Hain ji? Iz, a Chappal sayz I iz a drink and not a talk.

Srinath -- Oh, come on, Inzy. You can talk to me.
Inzy -- Iz, okay.

Srinath -- So, how are you feeling?
Inzy -- Iz, I iz a nonsense. I iz drink a cola and iz a not a know what iz what? Hain ji?

Srinath -- Anyway, verbally talk to me about the first Test.
Inzy -- Iz, yeezzz, boyz a played to well. Iz, they a hard boyz. They iz a bat well and a ball well. Iz, all iz a well and iz a chappall in z hell.

Srinath -- Sourav came outwardly good in this outdoor outing.
Inzy -- I am Inzy. I scored a 15017 run. Who iz a Ganguly? I iz a captain. I iz play in a well. Iz, yeezzzz, he iz a score to some run. But Frazer iz a call to Nagma before start. Hain ji? Iz, Frazer iz a talk and Nagma is a fly to come iz vizit Ganguly. Iz, he iz a happy. Then iz, he iz bat to out not. Hain ji? Iz, he a score ATHHANNI. But, iz chappal iz a see to Nagma and iz a throw her iz a get out. Ganguly iz a not to happy and iz a score to CHAVANNI in 2nd.

Srinath -- Being a sounthern south indian I don't know what is CHAVANNI and ATHHANNI. What is they?
Inzy -- What? You iz fool? ATHHANNI = 50 paise. CHAVANNI = 25 paise.

Srinath -- Thanks Inzy, for that adult education class. So, Zaheer also bowled very much well.
Inzy -- Iz, yezzzz. Iz, Zaheer is a now to fit and not to a lzay. He he he he... Iz, I iz ask him clean a bathroom to me everyday. Iz, he a good clean. Iz, I am Inzy. I scored a 15017 run. I iz not a clean to bath. I iz make a Zaheer fit. Hain ji?

Srinath -- And what about Sachin and Laxman? They did well too.
Inzy - Hain ji? I am who iz Inzy. Iz, they not a Inzy. Iz yeezzzz, they iz a play well some to time. I iz a play in well all iz a time. I iz better.

Srinath -- And what about the wunderkid Sreesanth? He dances pretty beautifullistically well.
Inzy -- Iz, he he he he he. I iz a teach to dance him. Iz, bee-rake dance. Iz, he he he he he.... I iz a ask to him a get honey to me. I iz a tell him a get from bee nest in a tree. Hain ji? Iz, he iz a go and uze a rake to shoo a bee and honey to get. Iz, he he he he he... Hain ji? Iz, a beez to get anger and iz a run to him. Iz, he iz a twist and turn and a look to a like dance. I iz a record on video. Iz, then I iz a see to him and iz a he to learn a dance. I iz a name it a bee-rake dance. Hain ji?

Srinath -- But what about the baby steps he took after hitting Nel well and truly beyond and over the line?
Inzy -- Iz, no iz a baby to step? Iz a called "G***D Mein Dandaa". I iz a write a zong to him - "G***d mein dandaa de. Teri g***d mein danda de. Hain ji? Baanz ki banzi, na sone ka sariyaa. G***d mein dandaa de". Iz, a lullaby I iz a zing him to sleep. Iz, he he he he..... he iz a dream a step to dance when I iz a sing. Hain ji?

Srinath -- I saw Nel filthyly abusing you a lot in first inning. What was he saying?
Inzy -- I am Inzy. Hain ji? I scored a 15017 run. Iz, not can a abuze to me. Iz, Nel iz a ask Gobhi Musallam recipie. Iz, you not iz a know, he a vegetarian. Hain ji? Iz, he iz a like gobhi dish.

Srinath -- How much do you think Greg contributed in this win.
Inzy -- I am Inzy. I scored a 15017 run. Hain ji? No iz a contribute. I iz a take to care all thing. Iz, I a draw wicut on Chappal poster between hiz leg. I iz a ask to Ganguly and iz a Zaheer to practice to hit the ballz, ooppsss, zorry, the bailz. Iz he he he he he..... they iz a hit ballz every time. Hain ji? Iz, they a say they iz a like hit a ballz all the time. I iz a tell to Veeru iz a get a Aarti Paratha every catch he iz a take. Izzzzz, Verru iz no a drop to catch.

Srinath -- What about Jaffer? He is not in a truly well good form?
Inzy -- Iz, Jaffer a soft boyz. Iz, he iz a time to spend with Raina and Kaif. He iz a become to hard boyz and iz we see then.

Srinath -- So, what cunning plans for second Test?
Inzy -- Iz... what? I iz not a heat to you.

Srinath -- I said, what cunning plans for second Test?
Izny -- Izzzzzzzz..... wha??.... I ....hear..... not.... Izzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Srinath -- No, Inzy. I said what cunning plans for second Test?
Inzy -- Izzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 

Srinath -- Oh, Looks like Inzy is sleepingly dozing off. Well, that is all from The Sriway. This is Srinath logging out.