So Ruchir, did you ask Inzy what he has to say about the Chuck prostrate?
Yes. I actually did. I called him on his cell phone and got his voicemail.
"As-Salaam-Alaikum. Bismillah ur Reham Al Rahim. First of all, iz, thanks to Allah. Iz, yeezzzzz, hello iz to a you. I am Inzy. Iz, I scored a 15017 run. Hain ji? Iz, you a hear a ghanti iz to a sound and, iz, you iz speak into your piece. Hain ji? Then I iz a hearz to massege and iz a call to the phone. Salaam-Alaikum"
So I left him a message to call me back as I wanted to talk to him about a certain photo of PAK player. Within a minute I got a call from him and he started in a terrified voice:
Inzy -- Hain ji? Iz, a hello? Iz, anybody where is there? Iz, hain ji? Hello?
RJ -- Yes, Inzy. This is Ruchir. How are you? You called back pretty quick?
Inzy -- Iz, not iz a time talk to. Hain ji? What iz a photo you iz talk to? Who iz photo? Iz it me? I iz not a do to anything iz a anyone. Iz, I iz not a fault. Hain ji? I iz a simple man. Iz, even a wife iz a beat to me. Boooo Hooo....
RJ - Inzy. Calm down. Stop crying!!! It is not your photo I was calling about.
Inzy -- Iz, not mine? I am Inzy. I scored a 15017 run. Iz, how come iz a you not a get Mandira photo? I iz give it to Akmal and he iz a leak to media? Hain ji?
RJ -- Inzy, I am not media. I am a cricket fan. By the way, what Mandira photo?
Inzy -- Izzzz, he he he he... I iz call a Mandira to house. Iz, wife iz a serve to dinner. Hain ji? Iz, Mandira iz a eat and a noodle strap iz to open. Iz, he he he he..... iz, her left side iz a see to all. I am Inzy. Iz, I iz a run to help a tie noodle. Hain ji? Iz, then my son iz a click photo.
RJ -- Oh Wow. You tying up Madira's noodle strap. Did it fall all the way down?
Inzy -- Iz, yezzzzz..... Hain ji?
RJ -- You lucky dog.....
Inzy -- Iz, I iz a give photo to a Akmal to leak it. Iz, he iz not a know to Engligh. Iz, he iz a take to a leak on photo. Hain ji? Iz, a wet photo. Iz, I iz ask a Phenku (Akhtar) how iz a dry to photo. Phenku iz a say to give photo iz a him. Then he iz put down and iz a lie on photo.
RJ -- What? Akhtar put the wet photo on the ground and lay down on it?
Inzy -- Izzzz, yezz. He iz a face to down and iz a make horror face. Hain ji? I iz a fear. Iz, I iz a call a phyzio. Iz, then Phenku iz a start a move to up and a down. Iz, he iz a shiver.
RJ -- Oh my gawd!!!!
Inzy -- Iz, then a phyzio iz a come. I iz a tell to him the photo. Izzz, Phyzio iz try a photo to take under him. I am Inzy. I scored a 15017 run. I iz a shouting on Phenku. Izzz, I iz anger. He iz not a wet photo again. I iz ask a phyzio do any to get photo.
RJ -- Then?
Inzy -- Izzz, phyzio is a go to behind and iz a put to hand under and iz pull. Iz, photo iz not a come. I iz go a behind to phyzio and help in a pull. Iz, phyzio is a hold to something. He iz pull, I iz pull, Phenku iz a shout and cry. Iz, Phenku iz crybaby. Iz, suddenly, iz, my son iz a click to photo. He he he he he.... iz, smuart baay... Iz, I iz send photo to a Cricinfo. Hain ji?
RJ -- Oh. But did you get your Mandira photo back?
Inzy - I am Inzy. Hain ji? I scored a 15017 run. Izzz, yezzz, I get back. Not iz a first. Iz, first iz a phyzio get a hairz. Iz, then we iz a try to again.
RJ -- Oh wow. But why are you not in the photo? Where were you?
Inzy -- Iz, Phenku iz a shout a so hard I iz a fall down in fear. Iz, he he he he.... Hain ji?
RJ -- Can you email it to me? I wanna see it.
Inzy -- Izzz, ok. I iz a send.
RJ -- Thanks very much Inzy. You are a great sport. Bye bye.
Then I waited and got the photo in mail. It was Mandira with a surprised expression on her face, looking down on her half exposed left breast. Inzy was trying to cup it with one hand from beneath and cover it with other hand, not worrying about the noodle strap. So much for telling the truth.
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