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[sgusa]

hahahaahahahaha Annamma Coulterani
ayyo Esgee is in trouble now.
the big question is: where is Mock akka in the story

Apart from the fact that Annamma Coulterani can't actually give birth to babies in RL, an excellent piece. I esp liked the part where a concotion of alcohol runs amock in my bloodstream!

[dhruvdeepak]

south indian folk tales are the best 

[sudzz]

hahahaahahahaha Annamma Coulterani
ayyo Esgee is in trouble now.
the big question is: where is Mock akka in the story

Is Annamma Coulterani is a cross between a a Nair mom and a Sindhi father? her name sounds so

[MockTurtle]

Part III - The Plot thickens
====================

Coveran soon starts thinking about his daughter's marriage and future rather seriously. He calls over his royal astrologer, Sudzzu Shastrikal, to understand what the stars are saying about all this. As they sit down to talk, Makku Turtilla shows up. Makku is one of those self-smug post-modern women, who has no respect for traditions or stars and pretty much anything/anyone in the world (except herself). She changed her name of  Makalakshmi Tripuratalli to Makku Turtilla. Both Sudzzu and Coveran have had many an argument with Makku, but there doesn't seem to be an easy way to get rid of her. You see, Makku can be congeniality/stubbornness personified whenever required. She has free access to the royal premises and drops in whenever she needs an extra-strong filter kapi or a soft-as-jasmine-flowers puttu. Coveran has the best cooks from Chalakudi employed in his kitchen and Makku is at her congenial best with them  - for selfish interests, of course.

Anyway, Makku sits across the two men deeply engrossed in discussion about the princess's future. Makku listens to it all, sipping a freshly squeezed aurbergine juice, with a dash of tabasco sauce and a sprig of parsley. As Coveran starts talking about his desires to find a rich bridegroom who has at least 15K acres of land, Makku scowls at him and says - "Let her marry for love - what's the point of 15K acres of land? What matters is how many cms of of his heart he can give her unconditionally! Ugh! this aubergine juice seems to have traces of raw onion. Yuck!" Now that sets Coveran going - He stands to his full height, goes next to Makku and says - "Lady, you may think that you are the next best thing after after chopped mangoes, but I will not have you sitting in MY palace and make fun of my onions. I've had just about enough of your scowls at people and smiles at dogs"! Makku shrugs and remarks that global warming is going to kill his onions anyway. At this, Coveran turns sad, quietens down and sits back on his chair, with his hands on his head and pleads - "Suddzu Shastrigal, you must help me and my onions!. I am even ready to sacrifice rasogullah from my diet if that would appease the Nature Gods!"

Sudzzu is busy studying the princess's horoscope and frowns his brow - "I see that Saturn is swiftly moving next to Mars and that spells some turbulent times ahead. I suggest she stay away from all men for the next 41 days and eat only boiled onions and make a visit to the Oniayyamma shrine. Oniayyyamma is a virgin and shuns all men. Doing this penance will keep her hormones under check and not be lured by the powers of the opposite sex"  Makku smirks at this and questions why should men be prevented from going to this temple. Suzzdu stares her down and expounds from the Vedas secretly wishing he had the powers to turn her into a mouse.

As all this is going on, our young lovers, Fina and DeeDee are running round the trees of a dense forest. Fina is experiencing the ecstasy of first love and is quite oblivious of the rest of the world. DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest. Must add that Fina's loving palpitations are slowly beginning to affect DeeDee. They soon reach a river whose shores are known to host the best snails in the neighbourhood. They decide to take a dip and as Fina walks out of the water, who should emerge from the bushes but Kaybaanu! His hermitage is also in these woods and he had come to the river to pick some fresh snails for his meal. Seeing Fina there, in her swimsuit, her fine legs exposed, the old weakness of Kaybaanu takes over him. After so many years of careful restraint from spotting legs, here he is, exposed to one of the slenderest pair of legs and yes, you got it right, he IS smitten and decides he must get to know his young woman. He also decides he has had enough of this austere life and plans to return to his kingdom and hopefully, with Fina as his queen.




(the rest if/after i return. else, someone can continue this. the last 5-6 weeks was fun, bantering on this DG. congrats to all the award winners, take care and ta ta, all!)

[dhruvdeepak]

The makings of a greek tragedy 
Kaybanu and son after the same pair of legs. Meanwhile DeeDee is making hay while the sun shines.
Makku is as usual intruding upon everything that doesnt concern her, meanwhile what of Jaatika and Esgee.
K-slice needs to make an entrance soon as does Jiet 
I suggest we push this to some NBC or StarTV producer. Beats Ekta Kapoor's rubbish easily.

Request: let us not ruin this epic by trying to write our own versions. Let it stay original. Keep it going whenever you can akka

[suraj]

Ok so now u get us addicted and leave

Typical smug-female. Hope the break just leads to an even better continuation of the epic!

[suraj]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

[dhruvdeepak]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

no. nobody is thinking what you are thinking. in fact, nobody is thinking anything. they are standing with their eyes closed and their fingers in their ears singing "lalalalala" until DeeDee returns from the forest (quickly as possible, and hopefully after washing his hands of the fineleg situation). and the forest is a literal, real forest. you sick freak.

[suraj]

Everyone's in denial but I can see the jungle mein mangal

Its all genetic, my dear 34 DD

[fineleg]

(the rest if/after i return. else, someone can continue this. the last 5-6 weeks was fun, bantering on this DG. congrats to all the award winners, take care and ta ta, all!)

Just returning to DG after a break...Yet to read the stories above in full...but I'm sure they will be as usual fantastic. Will read and then hit the applaud button.

Dear friend, akka and aunty-ji - Have a safe trip to Cambodia and bring back pictures of Angkor Wat! (u can be in the pic too! but i know u wont share that on the DG - lol...thats prob a freudian slip PM to Blwe's eyes only). Come back and write the sequel...whats with the "if" i return...u also want a "I'm leaving the DG thread"? 

[sgusa]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

I am very happy to announce that i am definetly not the dirtiest mind on the DG

[fineleg]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

I am very happy to announce that i am definetly not the dirtiest mind on the DG

Chasing the heroine deep into the forest sounds like a perfect Indian movie scene?
Always happens and hero will suddenly jump out from a tree or some such thing.
Whats the big deal that ur all thinking?

[sgusa]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

I am very happy to announce that i am definetly not the dirtiest mind on the DG

Chasing the heroine deep into the forest sounds like a perfect Indian movie scene?
Always happens and hero will suddenly jump out from a tree or some such thing.
Whats the big deal that ur all thinking?

All i have to say is TL TL TL TL TL TL TL TL TL  !!!!!

[suraj]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

I am very happy to announce that i am definetly not the dirtiest mind on the DG

Chasing the heroine deep into the forest sounds like a perfect Indian movie scene?
Always happens and hero will suddenly jump out from a tree or some such thing.
Whats the big deal that ur all thinking?

I am happy to announce that I have a mind dirty enuff to think beyond the " perfect Indian movie scene"
I am also very sound to announce that as the HOD I have failed miserably in improving some TLs' performance

I hang my head in shame

[dhruvdeepak]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

I am very happy to announce that i am definetly not the dirtiest mind on the DG

Chasing the heroine deep into the forest sounds like a perfect Indian movie scene?
Always happens and hero will suddenly jump out from a tree or some such thing.
Whats the big deal that ur all thinking?

All i have to say is TL TL TL TL TL TL TL TL TL  !!!!!

now TL will say - "no it was a tongue-in-cheek comment. i actually got it"
while we all know that is not the case

[suraj]

DeeDee is playing his part perfectly and chases Fina deeper and deeper into the forest.

 

Is everyone thinking wht I am thinking?

I am very happy to announce that i am definetly not the dirtiest mind on the DG

Chasing the heroine deep into the forest sounds like a perfect Indian movie scene?
Always happens and hero will suddenly jump out from a tree or some such thing.
Whats the big deal that ur all thinking?

All i have to say is TL TL TL TL TL TL TL TL TL  !!!!!

now TL will say - "no it was a tongue-in-cheek comment. i actually got it"
while we all know that is not the case

Yeah "Dean u underestimate me, I understood but was being funny" 

[pieterSAN]

Chasing fineleg into the thick, dense forest, huh?...Mock, you are quite something. Although thick forests are no longer fashionable, you are to be commended to create a character that attempts to changes the trend.   

[dhruvdeepak]

THICK FORESTS ARE NOT FASHIONABLE. I DO NOT LIKE THICK FOREST. I RUN FOR COVER AT THE SIGHT OF ANY BUSHES OR HEDGES. DO NOT SULLY MY NAME WITH THESE INACCURATE METAPHORS. I WOULD NOT BE CAUGHT DEAD NEAR A FOREST. THIS IS NOT THE 80s.

[suraj]

Chasing fineleg into the thick, dense forest, huh?...Mock, you are quite something. Although thick forests are no longer fashionable, you are to be commended to create a character that attempts to changes the trend.   

I was eagerly waiting for your comment. 

[suraj]

MR SG,

My  mind still te dirtiest???

[pieterSAN]

THICK FORESTS ARE NOT FASHIONABLE. I DO NOT LIKE THICK FOREST. I RUN FOR COVER AT THE SIGHT OF ANY BUSHES OR HEDGES. DO NOT SULLY MY NAME WITH THESE INACCURATE METAPHORS. I WOULD NOT BE CAUGHT DEAD NEAR A FOREST. THIS IS NOT THE 80s.

I feel you, brother. We men eagerly warm the globe(s), and take pleasure in clearing forests. How despicable!

[suraj]

THICK FORESTS ARE NOT FASHIONABLE. I DO NOT LIKE THICK FOREST. I RUN FOR COVER AT THE SIGHT OF ANY BUSHES OR HEDGES. DO NOT SULLY MY NAME WITH THESE INACCURATE METAPHORS. I WOULD NOT BE CAUGHT DEAD NEAR A FOREST. THIS IS NOT THE 80s.

I feel you, brother. We men eagerly warm the globe(s), and take pleasure in clearing forests. How despicable!

Ok if this goes on TL is going to drop from school- he/she is totally lost

[toney]

Mock, awesome post, dear lady.
As for forests and fineleg, well

[MockTurtle]

i just peeped in there and all you masters@double entendre idjets, how can i ever read the following beautful lines from Frost peacefully now?

    


Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.


The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.



f'leg, yeah, shall try to load pics if i ever figure out how to do it! wokay, time to head out to strange lands. *poof*

[sgusa]

Noooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Mock, why did you have to bring up Frost in this connection ?

[fineleg]

Seems like everything in this DG has to be looked at by some totally convoluted angle so as to get the jokes. Such is life on this DG!

[fineleg]

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

f'leg, yeah, shall try to load pics if i ever figure out how to do it! wokay, time to head out to strange lands. *poof*

Mock,
Alrite...Enjoy the trip and upload the pics - not a hard thing to do, surely someone here can give u instructions to upload if needed. Very nice poem by Frost.

And, yes, i got the joke now (bit ('k more than a bit) slow, but got it)...Just that suraj and co. immediately start double and triple meanings...award for double meaning thinkers goes to....WHO? Interesting question.

[dhruvdeepak]

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

f'leg, yeah, shall try to load pics if i ever figure out how to do it! wokay, time to head out to strange lands. *poof*

Mock,
Alrite...Enjoy the trip and upload the pics - not a hard thing to do, surely someone here can give u instructions to upload if needed. Very nice poem by Frost.

And, yes, i got the joke now (bit ('k more than a bit) slow, but got it)...Just that suraj and co. immediately start double and triple meanings...award for double meaning thinkers goes to....WHO? Interesting question.

who thinks fineleg still didnt get it 

[sgusa]

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

f'leg, yeah, shall try to load pics if i ever figure out how to do it! wokay, time to head out to strange lands. *poof*

Mock,
Alrite...Enjoy the trip and upload the pics - not a hard thing to do, surely someone here can give u instructions to upload if needed. Very nice poem by Frost.

And, yes, i got the joke now (bit ('k more than a bit) slow, but got it)...Just that suraj and co. immediately start double and triple meanings...award for double meaning thinkers goes to....WHO? Interesting question.

who thinks fineleg still didnt get it 

Well it sure does look bad for the Univ.

[Libran]

Part III - The Plot thickens
====================

What matters is how many cms of of his heart he can give her unconditionally! Ugh! this aubergine juice seems to have traces of raw onion. Yuck!" Now that sets Coveran going - He stands to his full height, goes next to Makku and says - "Lady, you may think that you are the next best thing after after chopped mangoes, but I will not have you sitting in MY palace and make fun of my onions. I've had just about enough of your scowls at people and smiles at dogs"! Makku shrugs and remarks that global warming is going to kill his onions anyway. At this, Coveran turns sad, quietens down and sits back on his chair, with his hands on his head and pleads - "Suddzu Shastrigal, you must help me and my onions!. I am even ready to sacrifice rasogullah from my diet if that would appease the Nature Gods!"

(the rest if/after i return. else, someone can continue this. the last 5-6 weeks was fun, bantering on this DG. congrats to all the award winners, take care and ta ta, all!)

Each one is a masterpiece 
Good show Ma'am !!!

[suraj]

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

f'leg, yeah, shall try to load pics if i ever figure out how to do it! wokay, time to head out to strange lands. *poof*

Mock,
Alrite...Enjoy the trip and upload the pics - not a hard thing to do, surely someone here can give u instructions to upload if needed. Very nice poem by Frost.

And, yes, i got the joke now (bit ('k more than a bit) slow, but got it)...Just that suraj and co. immediately start double and triple meanings...award for double meaning thinkers goes to....WHO? Interesting question.

who thinks fineleg still didnt get it 

suraj & co for sure

[fineleg]

Kaif.  Mods - actually move this to Humor so we have the stories grouped there.

[keep-it-cool]

This is hilarious ... just read thru all of them ... almost missed this coz of a longish break that i took ... keep it going

[MockTurtle]

Part IV - Life goes on...
==================

EsGee has landed himself in a pickle, hasn't he? At this point, I must let you know who Jaatika REALLY is. She is not just a two-bit dancer in a sleazy club but is actually feigning this role in an attempt to oust Coveran. Coveran and she have some history which dates back to many years. Jaatika had come to know that Coveran was eyeing EsGee as his prospective son-in-law and what better way to foil his plans than have EsGee under her trance. Of course, needless to say that EsGee walked into the trap all by himself making it all easy for Jaatika.

Coveran strongly believes in the power of rasogullahs and in fact, makes a annual trip to the land of Kolkatapuri, which boasts of rasogullahs with the best healing power. He attends a "Rasogullah Retreat", a 10 day intensive course which includes even a 10 minute total immersion in r'gullah syrup. A sticky affair, in all. All these retreats are owned by the Prince of Kolkatapuri, Souravanathan Gangulappan, a rebel of sorts. He is a brash prince who does not particularly pay heed to traditions. Some years ago, while Coveran was on one of his trips to the retreat club, the Prince was visiting and Coveran, being the traditional person and a King, expected that the Prince would look up on him personally and maybe, even invite him over to his palace. But that did not happen and Coveran was greatly slighted - esp. since he had called his daughter, Fina, the previous night and told her about how he was awaiting the Prince. This had sent Fina into squeals of delight inter-mixed with of course, palpitations. She went "Daddy, be careful *palpitates*, make sure it is REALLLY the prince, and please get me a foto of him *MORE palpitatations* signed by him for ME". Hearing his dear daughter ask for something with so much enthusiasm, Coveran was moved to tears. But, alas, the Prince did enquire after him at all and to add insult to injury, he walked past him without even a nod. Coveran was deeply offended and decided to get back at the Prince. Fina, on hearing her dad's story palpitated for 36 whole minutes before declaring that she too would give the Prince no second chance.

In addition to all this, there is an annual cricket match arranged between the Kolkatapuri R'gullah Retreat club and the neighbouring ChumChum Calming club and Coveran, being a regular member of the KRR club, was always a part of this.  On this occasion, the Prince was requested to participate. And guess who gets chopped from the team to accomodate the Prince? Of course, Coveran, who is next to only God at blocking one end and seeing the new balls off. All this made Coveran hate Prince with a vengeance and after that trip, started a hate campaign against the Prince. Wrote pages in various forums, criticized the onion-crop of Kolkattapuri, said that the prince has not produced a single onion worth going into a curry in the last 2 years. He even referred to KolKattapuri as KillKatapuri, a blasphemy unheard of! (but he continued his trips to the KRR club, coz that was something he simply could not resist).

Jaatika is the head of the Kolkattapuri Royal Secret Service and she was aware of the libel and infamy being spread by Coveran about her Prince. Being a loyal servant to the prince, had confronted Coveran. There were many a nasty exchanges between the two of them, resulting in both of them getting thrown out of pubs, bars and DGs.(drinking groups). It was a deadlock - spies from both sides working overtime and when Jaatika heard about Coveran's recent interest in Esgee, she decided to step in and do whatever damage she could.

Esgee, meanwhile, sane and sober the next day, wakes up and realizes what he had done the previous day. He quickly gobbles a frozen pongal and chutney dish without even realizing that he had forgotten to defrost it. And sure enough, Jaatika calls him up and wants to go shopping for the engagement ring. Totally confused, he calls up his pal, Soorajan, for ideas. Soorajan has a big laugh about it all and suggests why not EsGee simply "do" Jaatika and get his gene "D34D" under control. EsGee is shocked and asks Soorajan to come up with a better idea. Soorajan goes on a lecture about women and how they are not to be loved but just made love to, "to do" is the right thing and only fools get into uttering "i do", women should be done but not heard, etc. EsGee pulls his hair in frustration and asks him to stop and instead, come up with a solution for his predicament. As he is talking to Soorajan, Kaybaanu, his father, walks into the house and says "My dear son, I am back and I am in love. Let me tell you all about it."

(to be continued...)

[Blwe_torch]

Great twists and turns, I say!
This is turning into a crime thriller from a love-polygon!
Great going Mock..applause!

[Blwe_torch]

Of course, Coveran, who is next to only God at blocking one end and seeing the new balls off.

You too!

[sgusa]

Bravo. Wonderful inclusion of current events seamlessly in the storyline! Appluase.

[MockTurtle]

Of course, Coveran, who is next to only God at blocking one end and seeing the new balls off.

You too!

me too what? 

[Blwe_torch]

Of course, Coveran, who is next to only God at blocking one end and seeing the new balls off.

You too!

me too what? 

I mean, wasn't this a burning issue recently?!!

[MockTurtle]

Of course, Coveran, who is next to only God at blocking one end and seeing the new balls off.

You too!

me too what? 

I mean, wasn't this a burning issue recently?!!

that's the idea - i missed the entire show thanks to my time-zone but got to see bits and pieces of it