Let us now get to know our romantic hero, EsGee and his lineage slightly better.
He is the son of Kaybaanu Vyasan, who, in a burst of inspiration after reading Thoreau's Walden, renounced his kingdom, went away to a hermitage and lives there on only fruits and snails. He has distanced himself from all material pleasures and human bondages. He has handed over the reins of his kingdom to his step-brother, (who shall have a larger role to play in this story later) and set up a trust fund for this son, Esgee. He now spends his time, trying to write the Great Winedyan Novel, and has reached page 4346 of Chapter one.
Now, from the look of it, it seems like Kaybaanu is a saint but that's where you are mistaken - he TOO has a dark secret and this whole escapism approach is an attempt to bury it. Beneath the veneer of saintliness and austerity, there lies a weakness that he simply cannot oversome - the sight of a pair of fine legs! It sends his pulse into a frenzy, brain into a twist and his heart melts faster than an ice-cream on a hot-plate. In fact, he had mandated that all women in his kingdom wear only the traditional full-length skirts and are never to reveal their legs in front of royalty. Of course, he had packaged this requirement as a mark of respect to ancient Winedyan tradition. This weakness for legs has led to many an iffy situation for Kaybaanu, the most notorious of them being a tempestuous affair with Annamma Coulterani, a vamp, who was on a spiritual tour to the kingdom of Winedya. Now, the truth is that SHE is the real mother of Esgee, but this has been kept a dark, secret by Kaybaanu and his close associates. The world is made to believe that Kaybanu met his wife during one of his 2-year incognito visits to DGiana, got married and unfortunately, within 18 months, the wife died at childbirth and he returned Wyndia with the baby.
Coming back to Esgee, the love-bug has bitten him hard and deep. All he can think of is spending every minute of life with Finesse and cannot get her out of his mind. He dreams of combing her hair, washing her feet and feeding her raisins dipped in dark chocolate. Thanks to his generous trust-fund, he drives the fanciest cars, has the finest wines in his cellar and the tastiest frozen dinners in his fridge - but alas! his heart feels as empty as a life without a Process. He has heard that Coveran is a strict father and being a rather traditonal boy himself, he thinks the best way to win her hand is to impress the father first. (He is not aware that Coveran has been considering him as a potential son-in-law ). He wonders - how can I impress Coveran? Should I make a special Paan with Vidalia onion bits? Or should I make a sweet&spicy omelette with rasogullah as a topping? As he is lost in these thoughts, his friend, Soorajan, knocks on his door.
Soorajan's philosophy is that everything in life is dictated by genes - be it baldness, be it affinity for mysore-pak, be it being a TubeLite. With this as his mantra, he views women as purely an object to be used to satisfy the biological needs dictated by gene 'D34D'. Love, heartbreak and commitment are all foreign terms to him and not worth mastering. On seeing his pal from childhood looking so downcast, he quickly assesses the situation and with his gene-based approach to life, decides, the boy needs to have some "fun". Once the 'action-gene' gets its due, all will be well with EsGee. With all these good intentions, he invites EsGee to join him for a night out in the city.
Both of them head to the local night-club, the sleazy, seedy place, where booze runs free and women run around naked. EsGee, who usually drinks only the finest wine along with the moldiest, rottenest cheese, is now exposed to a whole new world of alcoholia. Soon, Rum, Brandy, Liquer, Vodka, Arrack all run concentrated through his blood in full flow. Sooraj was waiting for him to get sufficiently intoxicated before egging him on to ask the star-dancer at the club, Jaatika, for a night of unbridled passion. Our dear boy, EsGee, inebriated as he is, stumbles across to Jaatika, who is perched on a bar-stool, tapping her stilleto-ed feet gently on the floor. Suddenly, someone shouts "Finish" from the other side of the room and in his current state, it falls on his ears as "Finesse". All memories about Finesse rushes back to his mind and instead of asking Jaatika "Will you come with me for the night?", he blurts out - "Will you marry me and be my wife for the rest of my life?".
Jaatika blinks and says 'YES' and thus our hero is engaged, quite inadvertantly, of course.
(to be continued...)
AuthorTopic: The Perpetually Palpitating Princess - Part I (Read 6401 times)
January 16, 2006, 01:39:27 AM