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[MockTurtle]

since this seems to be the season of peace, joy, love and other such cloyingly sweet stuff on this DG, here's some from me, penned during a rather boring talk i had to attend y'day. of course, inspired by recent threads on similar lines started by other members..

Why did the chicken cross the road?

fineleg: Has it FULLY crossed? Be cautious, have little fun but no champagne yet.  just because it has crossed does NOT mean that it will reach the other side safely. I have been following these chickens for so many years, and they ALWAYS disappointed me with their inconsistency. How many times I've seen a chicken with its beak almost across the other side of the road only to see it turn around and scurry back.

DD: Chick-N? she crossed the road? Chick-N, along with the other indian chicks, M and O was supposed to stay with me watching the match. Oh, gotta run, the chicks are here with food!

justforKix : Why makes the crybaby chicken cross and act childish? Did you not see it whining and clucking excitedly to the policeman? It is a WUMPSKY - Wussy Underachieving Moronic Petulant Silly Killjoy Yolk.

ruchir : The chicken must be GAY.  It has symbolically "crossed" to the 'other' side.

keep-it-cool : So what? Chicken crossed the road. Must we read so much into it? I am just a chicken fan and not interested in their crossing habits. We will assess at it at the end-of-the-year review. For now, Chicken ROCKS!

jaat69 : It may have crossed but did you see any conviction in its face? Oooof! What, we have blinders on or what? What has it crossed that SG hasn't? Look at its face! Make it into chicken tikka or what!

CP : Great! Where are the SG fans? Hiding inside your rasogullas? Now I want to see every single SG fan here hatch out of their rasogullahs and say Thank you, Chappell, Thank you, More  for the successful crossing of the chicken after 4678 years.

cernunnos: I wonder why this chicken never crossed the road when SG was the captain.

123of :  it is like watching evolution - ah, so selflessly, so altruistically, for the betterment of the Hens United, not worrying about ruffling its feathers, getting its chicken legs messy, its fluffy yellow coat dirty, in the hot sun, sweating, dripping, panting - nothing  but a 'sear' delite. enjoy.

kban1: I would cross too, if Ann Coulter was flashing her legs on the other side.

kingcool1432 : NO RINGS CHECK [SIC]?

CLR James: Dude, are you saying that a chicken, who has been treated with the finest grub under the soil should be cooked because it crossed a road a couple of times? The real question is how often has it done it. How classy is it? What's its pedigree? Do not mention words like "tandoori" in the same breath as this chicken.

prfsr: Wonder if it is going to attend the IIT alumni meet. There weren't many chicks when I went to IIT and we had to resort to drawing chicks and making cardboard cut-outs. DAMN!

kwatra: The chicken clearly did not cross the road. I saw the replay. It was squatting PLUMB on the road.

gcspimpharsha:
pick the politically correct answer
(1) it is a SI SSY
(2) GC likes chicken finger salutes
(3) it is a fan of kiran more

sgusa :who cares if it crossed or didn't! i will take it and roast it. my 1996 Cabernet Sauvignon, tucked away in my cellar will complement it nicely, with its subtle tobacco and meaty flavor on after-taste, its ripe tannins adding a long finish. delectable! maybe throw in some strong cheese as well. in the meanwhile, pass the wine!

flute202020: why should the chicken not cross? Would you have questioned it if it were an indian peacock?  Respect the right, value the opinion, no matter what genus, class or phylum the creature is. This is the new, progressive india where chickens may cross and ducks may bark and ruchir may poke fun at SG without any moderator intervention.

Blwe_torch: It has been brought to my attention and I will issue a friendly warning…no, advice..no..suggestion..no..request to the chicken to avoid such acts that may possibly offend the sentiments of other chickens.

dextrous: the whys, hows and whens, you can read all about it at www.chickenvoice.com. (CP, don't start again, will ya? i did not imply that YOU are a chicken)

achutank : mock not the chicken's progress, question not things that you know of less!

kingofprussia :
here are the statistics from chickeninfo:
Total crossings  per day : 98.67
Total human crossings   : 87.39
Total bird crossings : 10.34
Considering that 3.4% of all birds consitute chicken, I went through the exercise of analysing what percentage of birds crossing will be chickens and it makes sense that a chicken should have crossed the road today.

[fineleg]

ROFL. Fantastic!!! May we add this to the Roadies series?
You can become part of our "Carolyn Keene". Applause.

[MockTurtle]

ROFL. Fantastic!!! May we add this to the Roadies series?
You can become part of our "Carolyn Keene". Applause.

oh, sure. move it there, mods?

[fineleg]

These are the stmts I liked the best:
123of.
DD.
Kic.
Ceru.
Kban!!!
gink [anag]

and ofcourse urs truly as well.

[kwatra]

Applause! Really funny!!

Kwatra: The chicken clearly did not cross the road. I saw the replay. It was squatting PLUMB on the road.

I wish I had the recording!

[keep-it-cool]

LOL .. applause

[pieterSAN]

  ...the fineleg one was the classic. Always knew you had it in you MT.

How is this...

123of: Now that the chicken has crossed you will understand what I meant earlier. You have to wait and you will see. Enjoy. Tactically and strategically there the chicken should have waited on the other side in the future. That I will explain later.

[MockTurtle]

...the fineleg one was the classic. Always knew you had it in you MT.

How is this...

123of: Now that the chicken has crossed you will understand what I meant earlier. You have to wait and you will see. Enjoy. Tactically and straegically there the chicken should have waited on the other side in the future. That I will explain later.

LOL - even better. i had to come up with things from memory and "evolution" bit was stuck in my mind. Do modify, add as you deem fit.

[dhruvdeepak]

HILARIOUS!!!!!
JUST ABOUT THE BEST IVE READ
 

all the quotes were brilliant!
Chicken crossing the road! what a superb metaphor!
TL'S DID YOU GET IT?!?!

[fineleg]

HILARIOUS!!!!!
JUST ABOUT THE BEST IVE READ
 

all the quotes were brilliant!
Chicken crossing the road! what a superb metaphor!
TL'S DID YOU GET IT?!?!

Get what!?

[pieterSAN]

HILARIOUS!!!!!
JUST ABOUT THE BEST IVE READ
 

all the quotes were brilliant!
Chicken crossing the road! what a superb metaphor!
TL'S DID YOU GET IT?!?!

 

please explain oh enlightened one... .   

[fineleg]

Jiet,
Seriously I think DD is out to just "cook up" 'metaphors' 

There is none here - it was a trick question.

[dhruvdeepak]

oh my God.....!!!
Please please please please please tell me you're joking and it's one of your inept "im trying out my TONGUE-in-cheek statements". People's tongues have been cut out for less appalling questions.

Breaking News:

DD, Dean of UCV has called a press conference.

Reporter: Sir, why have you called this press conference?

DD: It is painful what has gone on in this thread. I have the health of the TL's at heart, but it's a situation where my reputation is being dragged down. I am considering standing down from Dean-ship of the University, owing to frustrating inefficiencies on the part of the DG board. I have set up the team, but the pitch is bad and the selection of students has also been bad. I am surprised that my success/failure rate is not 0-3, rather than 0-1 (after fineleg's last statement we know what my failure is)"

[justforkix]

Mock : Brilliant !!!!

Unfortunately:

An Error Has Occurred!
Sorry, you can't repeat a karma action without waiting 12 hours.   

123of: Now that the chicken has crossed you will understand what I meant earlier. You have to wait and you will see. Enjoy. Tactically and strategically there the chicken should have waited on the other side in the future. That I will explain later.

Jiet : awesome. you are back to form 

[kwatra]

Dex: Chicken is not part of my household's dinner-time (conversation). I am vegetarian!

[fineleg]

Dex: Chicken is not part of my household's dinner-time (conversation). I am vegetarian!

Kwatra,
Brilliant, just absolutely brilliant...Thats a gem above.


OYE! DD!!!! What is the "hidden submerged" metaphor?

[dhruvdeepak]

someone, please. i am in tears. i am aghast. abhorred. abominated. awed.

TL, this is my failure. Not yours. The UCV curriculum will be revamped.

[sgusa]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

[Libran]

since this seems to be the season of peace, joy, love and other such cloyingly sweet stuff on this DG, here's some from me, penned during a rather boring talk i had to attend y'day. of course, inspired by recent threads on similar lines started by other members..

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Fineleg: Has it FULLY crossed? Be cautious, have little fun but no champagne yet.  just because it has crossed does NOT mean that it will reach the other side safely. I have been following these chickens for so many years, and they ALWAYS disappointed me with their inconsistency. How many times I've seen a chicken with its beak almost across the other side of the road only to see it turn around and scurry back.

DD: Chick-N? she crossed the road? Chick-N, along with the other indian chicks, M and O was supposed to stay with me watching the match. Oh, gotta run, the chicks are here with food!

JustforKix : Why makes the crybaby chicken cross and act childish? Did you not see it whining and clucking excitedly to the policeman? It is a WUMPSKY - Wussy Underachieving Moronic Petulant Silly Killjoy Yolk.

Ruchir : The chicken must be GAY.  It has symbolically "crossed" to the 'other' side.

Keep-it-cool : So what? Chicken crossed the road. Must we read so much into it? I am just a chicken fan and not interested in their crossing habits. We will assess at it at the end-of-the-year review. For now, Chicken ROCKS!

Jaat69 : It may have crossed but did you see any conviction in its face? Oooof! What, we have blinders on or what? What has it crossed that SG hasn't? Look at its face! Make it into chicken tikka or what!

CP : Great! Where are the SG fans? Hiding inside your rasogullas? Now I want to see every single SG fan here hatch out of their rasogullahs and say Thank you, Chappell, Thank you, More  for the successful crossing of the chicken after 4678 years.

Cernunnos: I wonder why this chicken never crossed the road when SG was the captain.

123of :  it is like watching evolution - ah, so selflessly, so altruistically, for the betterment of the Hens United, not worrying about ruffling its feathers, getting its chicken legs messy, its fluffy yellow coat dirty, in the hot sun, sweating, dripping, panting - nothing  but a 'sear' delite. enjoy.

Kban1: I would cross too, if Ann Coulter was flashing her legs on the other side.

Kingcool1432 : NO RINGS CHECK [SIC]?

CLR James: Dude, are you saying that a chicken, who has been treated with the finest grub under the soil should be cooked because it crossed a road a couple of times? The real question is how often has it done it. How classy is it? What's its pedigree? Do not mention words like "tandoori" in the same breath as this chicken.

Prfsr: Wonder if it is going to attend the IIT alumni meet. There weren't many chicks when I went to IIT and we had to resort to drawing chicks and making cardboard cut-outs. DAMN!

Kwatra: The chicken clearly did not cross the road. I saw the replay. It was squatting PLUMB on the road.

I am stumped...Brilliant ....

[keep-it-cool]

How about the original answer by the Mallu?

Simbly

[dhruvdeepak]

fineleg still hasnt found the 'hidden' metaphor

[fineleg]

fineleg still hasnt found the 'hidden' metaphor

who has? im telling u folks, there is none. dd is tricking u all.
has anyone found it?

[kban1]

AWESOME!!!

Applause to Mock, Jiet, Kwatra.

Some of you deserve 2 applauds -- so please wait for 12 hours.

[dhruvdeepak]

fineleg still hasnt found the 'hidden' metaphor

who has? im telling u folks, there is none. dd is tricking u all.
has anyone found it?

you are demoted to below TL. There is no electricity.

Chicken finally crossed the road : India finally won a series outside subcontinent non minnows

now read again

Cernunnos: I wonder why this chicken never crossed the road when SG was the captain.

CP  : Great! Where are the SG fans? Hiding inside your rasogullas? Now I want to see every single SG fan here hatch out of their rasogullahs and say Thank you, Chappell, Thank you, More  for the successful crossing of the chicken after 4678 years.

Jaat69 : It may have crossed but did you see any conviction in its face? Oooof! What, we have blinders on or what? What has it crossed that SG hasn't? Look at its face! Make it into chicken tikka or what!

Keep-it-cool : So what? Chicken crossed the road. Must we read so much into it? I am just a chicken fan and not interested in their crossing habits. We will assess at it at the end-of-the-year review. For now, Chicken ROCKS!

*the glow of enlightenment washes over TLs face*

[fineleg]

Decent explanation, but nothing spectacular for all to recognize off the bat! Anyways, good trick qn

Such qns are EXCLUDED (out-of-portion) for EXAMS!

They are bonus questions justforkix purposes only.

Showing Univ contract to DD.

[sgusa]

fineleg still hasnt found the 'hidden' metaphor

who has? im telling u folks, there is none. dd is tricking u all.
has anyone found it?

you are demoted to below TL. There is no electricity.

Chicken finally crossed the road : India finally won a series outside subcontinent non minnows

now read again

Cernunnos: I wonder why this chicken never crossed the road when SG was the captain.

CP  : Great! Where are the SG fans? Hiding inside your rasogullas? Now I want to see every single SG fan here hatch out of their rasogullahs and say Thank you, Chappell, Thank you, More  for the successful crossing of the chicken after 4678 years.

Jaat69 : It may have crossed but did you see any conviction in its face? Oooof! What, we have blinders on or what? What has it crossed that SG hasn't? Look at its face! Make it into chicken tikka or what!

Keep-it-cool : So what? Chicken crossed the road. Must we read so much into it? I am just a chicken fan and not interested in their crossing habits. We will assess at it at the end-of-the-year review. For now, Chicken ROCKS!

*the glow of enlightenment washes over TLs face*

say it like it is ma' brother.

[MockTurtle]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

[sgusa]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

Simbly Brilliant , I say!! Appluase

Even though i am a vegetarian, that road crossing chicken with the '96 cab does sound good. Good work Mock.

PS: If someone new joins the DG he/she will think we are all a bunch of loons

PPS: although, that bold cab would be too overpowering for fowl. Might i suggest a nice supple merlot, a malbec perhaps? (hehe, couldnt resist showing off my gradually increasing wine appreciation skills )

[MockTurtle]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

Simbly Brilliant , I say!! Appluase

Even though i am a vegetarian, that road crossing chicken with the '96 cab does sound good. Good work Mock.

PS: If someone new joins the DG he/she will think we are all a bunch of loons

umm..err..i have been certified one by more than one person :-)

[MockTurtle]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

Simbly Brilliant , I say!! Appluase

Even though i am a vegetarian, that road crossing chicken with the '96 cab does sound good. Good work Mock.

PS: If someone new joins the DG he/she will think we are all a bunch of loons

PPS: although, that bold cab would be too overpowering for fowl. Might i suggest a nice supple merlot, a malbec perhaps? (hehe, couldnt resist showing off my gradually increasing wine appreciation skills )

lol - you a regular sommelier, eh? :-) how about a barrel-fermented chardonnay, rich, fruity, creamy ? (desperately trying to recall her wine terms...hehe).

[sgusa]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

Simbly Brilliant , I say!! Appluase

Even though i am a vegetarian, that road crossing chicken with the '96 cab does sound good. Good work Mock.

PS: If someone new joins the DG he/she will think we are all a bunch of loons

PPS: although, that bold cab would be too overpowering for fowl. Might i suggest a nice supple merlot, a malbec perhaps? (hehe, couldnt resist showing off my gradually increasing wine appreciation skills )

lol - you a regular sommelier, eh? :-) how about a barrel-fermented chardonnay, rich, fruity, creamy ? (desperately trying to recall her wine terms...hehe).

Chards are good for fowl too. And usually they are dry not very fruity or creamy. For whites that are fruity reisling or a gerwutraminer would be a good bet. Or a super sweet muscat (yum)! But the sweet fruity wines are either desert (the muscat) or for spicy stuff.

[MockTurtle]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

Simbly Brilliant , I say!! Appluase

Even though i am a vegetarian, that road crossing chicken with the '96 cab does sound good. Good work Mock.

PS: If someone new joins the DG he/she will think we are all a bunch of loons

PPS: although, that bold cab would be too overpowering for fowl. Might i suggest a nice supple merlot, a malbec perhaps? (hehe, couldnt resist showing off my gradually increasing wine appreciation skills )

lol - you a regular sommelier, eh? :-) how about a barrel-fermented chardonnay, rich, fruity, creamy ? (desperately trying to recall her wine terms...hehe).

Chards are good for fowl too. And usually they are dry not very fruity or creamy. For whites that are fruity reisling or a gerwutraminer would be a good bet. Or a super sweet muscat (yum)! But the sweet fruity wines are either desert (the muscat) or for spicy stuff.

hey, i just randomly threw in the adjectives i could think of. subtle, rich, toasty etc. i really have no clue about wines or appreciating them! :-)

[sgusa]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

Simbly Brilliant , I say!! Appluase

Even though i am a vegetarian, that road crossing chicken with the '96 cab does sound good. Good work Mock.

PS: If someone new joins the DG he/she will think we are all a bunch of loons

PPS: although, that bold cab would be too overpowering for fowl. Might i suggest a nice supple merlot, a malbec perhaps? (hehe, couldnt resist showing off my gradually increasing wine appreciation skills )

lol - you a regular sommelier, eh? :-) how about a barrel-fermented chardonnay, rich, fruity, creamy ? (desperately trying to recall her wine terms...hehe).

Chards are good for fowl too. And usually they are dry not very fruity or creamy. For whites that are fruity reisling or a gerwutraminer would be a good bet. Or a super sweet muscat (yum)! But the sweet fruity wines are either desert (the muscat) or for spicy stuff.

hey, i just randomly threw in the adjectives i could think of. subtle, rich, toasty etc. i really have no clue about wines or appreciating them! :-)

hang with me, and you'll be decanting reds and chilling with whites before you know it.

[MockTurtle]

I am deeply offended that i was not included in Mock's writeup. But all is forgiven if you send me a bottle of merlot. May i suggest something that goes rather well with a road-crossing chicken?  ß

hehe - check now :-)

Simbly Brilliant , I say!! Appluase

Even though i am a vegetarian, that road crossing chicken with the '96 cab does sound good. Good work Mock.

PS: If someone new joins the DG he/she will think we are all a bunch of loons

PPS: although, that bold cab would be too overpowering for fowl. Might i suggest a nice supple merlot, a malbec perhaps? (hehe, couldnt resist showing off my gradually increasing wine appreciation skills )

lol - you a regular sommelier, eh? :-) how about a barrel-fermented chardonnay, rich, fruity, creamy ? (desperately trying to recall her wine terms...hehe).

Chards are good for fowl too. And usually they are dry not very fruity or creamy. For whites that are fruity reisling or a gerwutraminer would be a good bet. Or a super sweet muscat (yum)! But the sweet fruity wines are either desert (the muscat) or for spicy stuff.

hey, i just randomly threw in the adjectives i could think of. subtle, rich, toasty etc. i really have no clue about wines or appreciating them! :-)

hang with me, and you'll be decanting reds and chilling with whites before you know it.

ok - how about you start a wine101 here?

whine101 aplenty here already!

[kingcool1432]

I say, This thread is SMASHING  !! You outdo yourself Mock

[kingcool1432]

kingcool1432 : NO RINGS CHECK [SIC

Sickening scorch
Chic-King sensors

.....

Chicken crossing

[prfsr]

Since Germany is still in the world cup, I would like to recommend a good Riesling with chicken! Assuming that the dish is not very spicy that is. Otherwise a good strong german beer!
-P

[prfsr]

"prfsr: Wonder if it is going to attend the IIT alumni meet. There weren't many chicks when I went to IIT and we had to resort to drawing chicks and making cardboard cut-outs. DAMN!"




-P

PS:

My humble addition:

The chicken crossed the road because it saw Mock approaching with one of her trademark scowls, muttering to herself "Damn that CP. Now I have to think about whether to smile at a chicken".

[fineleg]

DesiYankee: F%#& man! DD is a #^$#.....(just his usual first liner before stating anything)...Dai psbb kix...do u know? Chinese chick(en)s are the hottest...their skin is so smooth and velvetty...even their hair...have u touched chinese chick(en)s hair...man, %**% man. If they cross the road, make sure u give them my phone number, chalo.

(PS: if u miss the 'chinese' joke, u missed a chat conv).


Question: Why did the sardarji chicken cross the road?

(looking for help here...folks, u can answer the above).

[Aloo Kashmiri Ul Haq]

DesiYankee: F%#& man! DD is a #^$#.....(just his usual first liner before stating anything)...Dai psbb kix...do u know? Chinese chick(en)s are the hottest...their skin is so smooth and velvetty...even their hair...have u touched chinese chick(en)s hair...man, %**% man. If they cross the road, make sure u give them my phone number, chalo.

(PS: if u miss the 'chinese' joke, u missed a chat conv).


Question: Why did the sardarji chicken cross the road?

(looking for help here...folks, u can answer the above).

i think fineleg is stalking me, applause fineleg and yes i think shaghainese girls are mhmm hot