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[sgusa]

Rare is it for me to come out in support of Mockani, but I believe I am with her on this.

There is only ONE reason to buy a car with a name tag ... and that is "status" ...

Safety:
If someone can tell me that a family car like a Honda is less safe then you are just kidding.

Can someone gues which car got the highest govt safety rating this year? A beeping Kia!!!

These so called high precision vehicles are nothing more than status symbols. You can say any number of things around it but it comes back to the same thing.

On speed, a standard Honda would go aqs fast as any beamer within reason .. unless u are used to going out and speeding at 200 mph... there is no difference.

And I hate it when people use words like Tree hugging or anything! I mean you say it as if it is a bad thing. There is a huge environmental crisis that we are facing that people like Bush would like us to forget. Everytime we fill up our tanks you can expect a dollar to go to Bush and another to Osama bin laden.

Yes a lot of us are lucky enough to be able to afford these gizmos. But the question that none of us asks is what is the price that our future generations (or even us in our old age) are going to pay?

My biggest regret is letting my wife talk me into buying a fancy name SUV. I wish I had Mockani's dedication to the environment.

If you are interested. my uncle has just written a book "Rethinking Progress" by Harinder Lamba. Buy this book and read it (let me know and I can point you to how you can buy it). He talks about the real price of progress and who relly is paying for it.

Review
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20060618/spectrum/book3.htm

and order it from
http://www.easternbookcorporation.com/moreinfo.php?txt_searchstring=9348

Agreed CP....the although a Merc is a terrific ride, shelling out 3 times as much for it never made sense me. The Honda you get in the U.S is an excellent buy.

If it were possible rent them on a weekly basis or such it would make more sense to me.

A fully loaded Honda Accord is mid 20s ($$$). A fully loaded 325 bmw is mid 30s. Both last forever, both have excellent mpg (honda prob a tab better, but the way i drive, and the areas i drive in, prob not). Both excellent safety standards. The Beemer has (defn) a better engine, better feel. Driving a beemer ( with manual drive ALWAYS ) is a way better driving experiance than a honda anyday.

PS: One needs to like cars to understand why the BMW is a better complete experiance. People looking at cars as transportation are the same people who think maggie noodles is good enough meal. Sure it is, when you are in a pinch ( or in Grad School ). But wantiing to eat that everyday An entry level beemer is a 3 course South Indian meal - it goes beyond satisfying hunger - it satisfies the soul ( atleast for me ) ).

[pieterSAN]

Rare is it for me to come out in support of Mockani, but I believe I am with her on this.

There is only ONE reason to buy a car with a name tag ... and that is "status" ...

Safety:
If someone can tell me that a family car like a Honda is less safe then you are just kidding.

Can someone gues which car got the highest govt safety rating this year? A beeping Kia!!!

These so called high precision vehicles are nothing more than status symbols. You can say any number of things around it but it comes back to the same thing.

On speed, a standard Honda would go aqs fast as any beamer within reason .. unless u are used to going out and speeding at 200 mph... there is no difference.

And I hate it when people use words like Tree hugging or anything! I mean you say it as if it is a bad thing. There is a huge environmental crisis that we are facing that people like Bush would like us to forget. Everytime we fill up our tanks you can expect a dollar to go to Bush and another to Osama bin laden.

Yes a lot of us are lucky enough to be able to afford these gizmos. But the question that none of us asks is what is the price that our future generations (or even us in our old age) are going to pay?

My biggest regret is letting my wife talk me into buying a fancy name SUV. I wish I had Mockani's dedication to the environment.

If you are interested. my uncle has just written a book "Rethinking Progress" by Harinder Lamba. Buy this book and read it (let me know and I can point you to how you can buy it). He talks about the real price of progress and who relly is paying for it.

Review
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20060618/spectrum/book3.htm

and order it from
http://www.easternbookcorporation.com/moreinfo.php?txt_searchstring=9348

Agreed CP....the although a Merc is a terrific ride, shelling out 3 times as much for it never made sense me. The Honda you get in the U.S is an excellent buy.

If it were possible rent them on a weekly basis or such it would make more sense to me.

A fully loaded Honda Accord is mid 20s ($$$). A fully loaded 325 bmw is mid 30s. Both last forever, both have excellent mpg (honda prob a tab better, but the way i drive, and the areas i drive in, prob not). Both excellent safety standards. The Beemer has (defn) a better engine, better feel. Driving a beemer ( with manual drive ALWAYS ) is a way better driving experiance than a honda anyday.

PS: One needs to like cars to understand why the BMW is a better complete experiance. People looking at cars as transportation are the same people who think maggie noodles is good enough meal. Sure it is, when you are in a pinch ( or in Grad School ). But wantiing to eat that everyday An entry level beemer is a 3 course South Indian meal - it goes beyond satisfying hunger - it satisfies the soul ( atleast for me ) ).

 ...I am not so sure that the analogy is appropriate. If you think driving a BMW increases your standard of living so much more than a Honda Accord - that's fine. I could use an equally improper analogy that spending 5 grand on a Armani suit gives you a much better "clothing experience" than a hoodie and jeans. I guess it comes down to priorities.

Interesting discussion all of you.

[sgusa]

Rare is it for me to come out in support of Mockani, but I believe I am with her on this.

There is only ONE reason to buy a car with a name tag ... and that is "status" ...

Safety:
If someone can tell me that a family car like a Honda is less safe then you are just kidding.

Can someone gues which car got the highest govt safety rating this year? A beeping Kia!!!

These so called high precision vehicles are nothing more than status symbols. You can say any number of things around it but it comes back to the same thing.

On speed, a standard Honda would go aqs fast as any beamer within reason .. unless u are used to going out and speeding at 200 mph... there is no difference.

And I hate it when people use words like Tree hugging or anything! I mean you say it as if it is a bad thing. There is a huge environmental crisis that we are facing that people like Bush would like us to forget. Everytime we fill up our tanks you can expect a dollar to go to Bush and another to Osama bin laden.

Yes a lot of us are lucky enough to be able to afford these gizmos. But the question that none of us asks is what is the price that our future generations (or even us in our old age) are going to pay?

My biggest regret is letting my wife talk me into buying a fancy name SUV. I wish I had Mockani's dedication to the environment.

If you are interested. my uncle has just written a book "Rethinking Progress" by Harinder Lamba. Buy this book and read it (let me know and I can point you to how you can buy it). He talks about the real price of progress and who relly is paying for it.

Review
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20060618/spectrum/book3.htm

and order it from
http://www.easternbookcorporation.com/moreinfo.php?txt_searchstring=9348

Agreed CP....the although a Merc is a terrific ride, shelling out 3 times as much for it never made sense me. The Honda you get in the U.S is an excellent buy.

If it were possible rent them on a weekly basis or such it would make more sense to me.

A fully loaded Honda Accord is mid 20s ($$$). A fully loaded 325 bmw is mid 30s. Both last forever, both have excellent mpg (honda prob a tab better, but the way i drive, and the areas i drive in, prob not). Both excellent safety standards. The Beemer has (defn) a better engine, better feel. Driving a beemer ( with manual drive ALWAYS ) is a way better driving experiance than a honda anyday.

PS: One needs to like cars to understand why the BMW is a better complete experiance. People looking at cars as transportation are the same people who think maggie noodles is good enough meal. Sure it is, when you are in a pinch ( or in Grad School ). But wantiing to eat that everyday An entry level beemer is a 3 course South Indian meal - it goes beyond satisfying hunger - it satisfies the soul ( atleast for me ) ).

 ...I am not so sure that the analogy is appropriate. If you think driving a BMW increases your standard of living so much more than a Honda Accord - that's fine. I could use an equally improper analogy that spending 5 grand on a Armani suit gives you a much better "clothing experience" than a hoodie and jeans. I guess it comes down to priorities.

Interesting discussion all of you.

true, but 50 $$ jean provides more value for cost (in terms of experiance) than a 5 grand armani. But a 35K BMW defn provides more value than a 25k honda. If you were talking about the 1.2 Mil Bugatii Veyron (Droooool , though ) then the example you give is appropriate.

PS: I love my Beemer and owe to anyone who talks trash about her

[Cover Point]

SGUSA, your fetish not withstanding, I think BMW over a honda gives you the samething as a armani over normal suits .... Status. Yeh dekho saaala Beemer chalata ... khoob maal bator rakha hai that type.

In that sense thats ok. Status hai to dikhao.

My main concern (and I suspect Mockani's) is the impact of these jazzy cars with bigger engines have on the environment. Anyway have to run for practice .... will continue this later.

[flute202020]

SGUSA, your fetish not withstanding, I think BMW over a honda gives you the samething as a armani over normal suits .... Status. Yeh dekho saaala Beemer chalata ... khoob maal bator rakha hai that type.

In that sense thats ok. Status hai to dikhao.

My main concern (and I suspect Mockani's) is the impact of these jazzy cars with bigger engines have on the environment. Anyway have to run for practice .... will continue this later.

CP, I don't totally agree with SGUSA, but where do we stop the argument? I mean, normal cars too have impact on the environment, right? that impact is OK? even cycles manufacturing causes damage to environment, no?  what if hypothetically, Gandhi steps in says, in my view, all mechanised means of transportation spread unhappiness in the world and if humans simply confine themselves to where their 2 legs can take them, the world will be happier place.

if degree of impact is to be considered, how do you justify usage of Honda over cycle?

[sgusa]

SGUSA, your fetish not withstanding, I think BMW over a honda gives you the samething as a armani over normal suits .... Status. Yeh dekho saaala Beemer chalata ... khoob maal bator rakha hai that type.

In that sense thats ok. Status hai to dikhao.

My main concern (and I suspect Mockani's) is the impact of these jazzy cars with bigger engines have on the environment. Anyway have to run for practice .... will continue this later.

First off, in seattle a beemer ( that too a 3 series) is no more a status symbol that a $20 Levi's jeans is. There are 1000s of people here with 250$ designer jeans. On a normal day i see 50-60 porsche and atleast 3-4 ferraris just on my drive to work. It is quite the experiance pulling into a parking lot at MSFT and parking your car next to a ferrari or two. And then walk by rows and rows of Porsche carreras . So trust me, i didnt get the beamer as a status symbol

And regarding the environmental impact, BMWs are actually quite efficient. Esp the sedans ( as opposed to the M series ). I get 25-30 mpg in city inspite of my style of driving (which, i am sorry to say, is more geared towards acceleration and less towards the env). And it is one of the safest cars on the road and very stylish and quite enjoyable to drive at the same time.

[Cover Point]

SGUSA, your fetish not withstanding, I think BMW over a honda gives you the samething as a armani over normal suits .... Status. Yeh dekho saaala Beemer chalata ... khoob maal bator rakha hai that type.

In that sense thats ok. Status hai to dikhao.

My main concern (and I suspect Mockani's) is the impact of these jazzy cars with bigger engines have on the environment. Anyway have to run for practice .... will continue this later.

CP, I don't totally agree with SGUSA, but where do we stop the argument? I mean, normal cars too have impact on the environment, right? that impact is OK? even cycles manufacturing causes damage to environment, no?  what if hypothetically, Gandhi steps in says, in my view, all mechanised means of transportation spread unhappiness in the world and if humans simply confine themselves to where their 2 legs can take them, the world will be happier place.

if degree of impact is to be considered, how do you justify usage of Honda over cycle?

Thats a good question Flute. How much is ok? See there is not right answer. I think the key is to strike a balance between consuming and the impact to the planet. Yes, everything humans do will have an impact on the environment. I think the key is(and this is my opinion ... there are better thinkers out there) to do things in moderation. You cant stop progress but I think it is prudent to consider the impact of anything we do.

We in america, want to drive the biggest the fastest cars. We want to live in huge houses. We have spoilt our bodies such that we want the AC or heating to keep the temp in that very narrow "comfortable zone". Obviously currently the pendulum is towards the other side. People consume without thinking of the impact on the environment at all.

Now, if we did care about the environment a bit, you dont have to make HUGE changes in your life style to live a bit closer to the city (everyone in the US wants to live on as huge a house .. and thus it ends up being further away) and thus not needig cars as much. Walk/bike where we can within reason. Open a window in the house instead of the AC.  Force our govt to invest in renewable energy (the argument we hear is that renewable energy is very expensive and not efficient... how much do we invest in renewable energy? Its peanuts compared to wht is spent on oil)

I mean just change our life a bit and make a huge impact. (Do see if you can read the book i mentioned above)

If you are interested. my uncle has just written a book "Rethinking Progress" by Harinder Lamba. Buy this book and read it (let me know and I can point you to how you can buy it). He talks about the real price of progress and who relly is paying for it.

Review
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20060618/spectrum/book3.htm

and order it from
http://www.easternbookcorporation.com/moreinfo.php?txt_searchstring=9348

[MockTurtle]

world's certainly gone topsy-turvy!

(1) i am reading a post from CP without SG or Rasogullah
(2) CP makes sense
(3) CP's views seems to be aligned with mine
(4) I am going to applaud CP

*pinches herself - yes, i am awake*

CP, is this the sign for a new beginning? 

SGUSA, your fetish not withstanding, I think BMW over a honda gives you the samething as a armani over normal suits .... Status. Yeh dekho saaala Beemer chalata ... khoob maal bator rakha hai that type.

In that sense thats ok. Status hai to dikhao.

My main concern (and I suspect Mockani's) is the impact of these jazzy cars with bigger engines have on the environment. Anyway have to run for practice .... will continue this later.

CP, I don't totally agree with SGUSA, but where do we stop the argument? I mean, normal cars too have impact on the environment, right? that impact is OK? even cycles manufacturing causes damage to environment, no?  what if hypothetically, Gandhi steps in says, in my view, all mechanised means of transportation spread unhappiness in the world and if humans simply confine themselves to where their 2 legs can take them, the world will be happier place.

if degree of impact is to be considered, how do you justify usage of Honda over cycle?

Thats a good question Flute. How much is ok? See there is not right answer. I think the key is to strike a balance between consuming and the impact to the planet. Yes, everything humans do will have an impact on the environment. I think the key is(and this is my opinion ... there are better thinkers out there) to do things in moderation. You cant stop progress but I think it is prudent to consider the impact of anything we do.

We in america, want to drive the biggest the fastest cars. We want to live in huge houses. We have spoilt our bodies such that we want the AC or heating to keep the temp in that very narrow "comfortable zone". Obviously currently the pendulum is towards the other side. People consume without thinking of the impact on the environment at all.

Now, if we did care about the environment a bit, you dont have to make HUGE changes in your life style to live a bit closer to the city (everyone in the US wants to live on as huge a house .. and thus it ends up being further away) and thus not needig cars as much. Walk/bike where we can within reason. Open a window in the house instead of the AC.  Force our govt to invest in renewable energy (the argument we hear is that renewable energy is very expensive and not efficient... how much do we invest in renewable energy? Its peanuts compared to wht is spent on oil)

I mean just change our life a bit and make a huge impact. (Do see if you can read the book i mentioned above)

If you are interested. my uncle has just written a book "Rethinking Progress" by Harinder Lamba. Buy this book and read it (let me know and I can point you to how you can buy it). He talks about the real price of progress and who relly is paying for it.

Review
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20060618/spectrum/book3.htm

and order it from
http://www.easternbookcorporation.com/moreinfo.php?txt_searchstring=9348

[achutank]

The Roadies thread just got my vote.

And now after reading CP's post, I feel vindicated.

Applause to both CP and PSan (for that brilliant pasta line on the first post)

  cool factor

[dhruvdeepak]

only 7 or 8 views per thread so far. visit the Awards Folder and vote pleeeeeeeease. It only takes a few seconds
http://www.cricketvoice.com/cricketforum2/index.php?board=19.0

[LosingNow]

I think the key is to strike a balance between consuming and the impact to the planet. Yes, everything humans do will have an impact on the environment. I think the key is(and this is my opinion ... there are better thinkers out there) to do things in moderation. You cant stop progress but I think it is prudent to consider the impact of anything we do.

We in america, want to drive the biggest the fastest cars. We want to live in huge houses. We have spoilt our bodies such that we want the AC or heating to keep the temp in that very narrow "comfortable zone". Obviously currently the pendulum is towards the other side. People consume without thinking of the impact on the environment at all.

Now, if we did care about the environment a bit, you dont have to make HUGE changes in your life style to live a bit closer to the city (everyone in the US wants to live on as huge a house .. and thus it ends up being further away) and thus not needig cars as much. Walk/bike where we can within reason. Open a window in the house instead of the AC.  Force our govt to invest in renewable energy (the argument we hear is that renewable energy is very expensive and not efficient... how much do we invest in renewable energy? Its peanuts compared to wht is spent on oil)

I mean just change our life a bit and make a huge impact. (Do see if you can read the book i mentioned above)

Great post CP.

While I agree that "we should all just change our life a bit"..it is a very noble thought and I hope it happens, it aint gonna happen.
Simple reason : while morals influences peoples thoughts, its economics that makes people take actions! (I wish it was different, but that is reality)

There are many economic (mis)incentives today that skew the consumption/usage patterns to what you see today.

Large houses --- deduction of interest on mortgage ..it creates an incentive of "bigger the house, bigger the deduction..therefore get the bigger house, which you can get only in the burbs"
Gas Guzzling SUVs -- the low sales tax on Gas (US has the lowest amongst all industrialized nations) ..leads to people not bearring the full costs (environmental, dependence on middle-east etc) of their consumption.
..
Fixes are simple ..eliminate mortgage interest deduction from personal taxes, increase sales tax on gasoline by at least 3-4 times current rates.

Problem is a government (specially the current incompetent one) that is beholden to special interests (real estate professionals, big oil) will never do it.
--
BTW, check out this website www.evworld.com. Great site on Electric Vehicles (to me the most reasonable, environmentally-safe alternative to our transportation needs). I sat on a 5 hour flight next to the founder of this website - Bill Moore..had a fascinating conversation and one of the smartest guys I have met. I urge you to subscribe to his newsletter.

[Cover Point]

world's certainly gone topsy-turvy!

(1) i am reading a post from CP without SG or Rasogullah
(2) CP makes sense
(3) CP's views seems to be aligned with mine
(4) I am going to applaud CP

*pinches herself - yes, i am awake*

CP, is this the sign for a new beginning? 

Lets hope so ... but it could just be a deviation for two of us tree hugging types (well u are the true environmentalist while I am a wanna be .. who gets his arm twisted by the wife into buying that 8 passanger suv!)

But no more. I do make it a point to bike to a store if it is within a couple of miles and i dont have to carry too much stuff back. Next car is going to be a hybrid Camry (with 2 kids and parents who visit often a prius maybe small).

And Losing, the point about real estate is probably incorrect. It is actually a desire of americans to live in large houses (rather than expensie houses .... dont forget even small houses in the city are much more expensive ). I think it is the cheap gas thing. People dont mmind driving large distances since gas is cheap. Well things seem to be changing. with gas at 3.25 a gallon ... things may change... one can only hope

[kingcool1432]

SGUSA, your fetish not withstanding, I think BMW over a honda gives you the samething as a armani over normal suits .... Status. Yeh dekho saaala Beemer chalata ... khoob maal bator rakha hai that type.

In that sense thats ok. Status hai to dikhao.

My main concern (and I suspect Mockani's) is the impact of these jazzy cars with bigger engines have on the environment. Anyway have to run for practice .... will continue this later.

First off, in seattle a beemer ( that too a 3 series) is no more a status symbol that a $20 Levi's jeans is. There are 1000s of people here with 250$ designer jeans. On a normal day i see 50-60 porsche and atleast 3-4 ferraris just on my drive to work. It is quite the experiance pulling into a parking lot at MSFT and parking your car next to a ferrari or two. And then walk by rows and rows of Porsche carreras . So trust me, i didnt get the beamer as a status symbol

And regarding the environmental impact, BMWs are actually quite efficient. Esp the sedans ( as opposed to the M series ). I get 25-30 mpg in city inspite of my style of driving (which, i am sorry to say, is more geared towards acceleration and less towards the env). And it is one of the safest cars on the road and very stylish and quite enjoyable to drive at the same time.

U work in microsoft ??

They're just loving u guys on Slashdot today   

[sgusa]

SGUSA, your fetish not withstanding, I think BMW over a honda gives you the samething as a armani over normal suits .... Status. Yeh dekho saaala Beemer chalata ... khoob maal bator rakha hai that type.

In that sense thats ok. Status hai to dikhao.

My main concern (and I suspect Mockani's) is the impact of these jazzy cars with bigger engines have on the environment. Anyway have to run for practice .... will continue this later.

First off, in seattle a beemer ( that too a 3 series) is no more a status symbol that a $20 Levi's jeans is. There are 1000s of people here with 250$ designer jeans. On a normal day i see 50-60 porsche and atleast 3-4 ferraris just on my drive to work. It is quite the experiance pulling into a parking lot at MSFT and parking your car next to a ferrari or two. And then walk by rows and rows of Porsche carreras . So trust me, i didnt get the beamer as a status symbol

And regarding the environmental impact, BMWs are actually quite efficient. Esp the sedans ( as opposed to the M series ). I get 25-30 mpg in city inspite of my style of driving (which, i am sorry to say, is more geared towards acceleration and less towards the env). And it is one of the safest cars on the road and very stylish and quite enjoyable to drive at the same time.

U work in microsoft ??

They're just loving u guys on Slashdot today   

Ah Slashdot. They love US ( still feels wierd to refer to the Evil Empire as US, but i guess once assimilated and having drunk the company cool-aid, i better get used to it ) to pieces (pun intended ).

Pretty much every single day , even in thread that talk about bioengineering, pink ponies (see slashdot, April 1 2006 ), the pope, the orphans of mumbai, they have to mention MSFT and come up with theories

[dhruvdeepak]

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE CHICKEN WAS CROSSED WITH THE ROADIES & ...

brought to you by: UCV - Light up!

It is the year 2020. Many things have changed in the world. Humans are being cloned. There is a cure for AIDS and cancer. Poverty has been somewhat alleviated due to the findings of modern day genetics. But one thing remains the same....

The coach of the Indian team, Greg Chappell. This sinister yet genial human being has not only remained as a coach of the cricket team for 15 years. During his stay, he has accumulated much wealth and slowly built his empire. He started by buying the Taj Mahal hotel in Delhi, and used the fruits of that investment to seize control over the BCCI itself. He runs the BCCI mostly on his own now, with the help of long-time friend Saurav Ganguly and kinkysexiologist Ian Frazier. But this was not his final destination. No, it was merely part of the journey.

A long time ago, when Greg Chappell was first appointed as the coach of the Indian team, he had his designs on something else in India. Becoming the coach and a man of respect and repute was only a means to this end. After many hours entrenched in labs and in front of sophisticated computers, analyzing the mechanics of his Process, he realized that he needed to harness the power of a major country's biotechnology sector to further his cause. Under the pretence of coaching the Indian team, he slowly worked his way up, and now owns 80% of India's Biotech sector.

Why, you ask? Well, he has done much good for India. But what really makes him tick, as you will find in this episode of The Roadies, is his experiments in creating a group of genes that will produce the definitive cricketing athlete. Central to these experiments are lab-level mutations and DNA recombinations of the genetic material of different species. And he uses the faithful Roadies as the tests' subjects...

Now it must be realized that these tests are 100% reversible. Ok, actually they are not. Chappell uses clones of the Roadies to experiment on, and these clones are readily disposable (thanks to the 'Turn Me To Dust' button found inside the right ear of all ChappellWay clones - a very useful innovation). Anyway, on with the story.

Chappell enters the Roadies' posh living campus early in the morning. The campus is also the site of the labs, which the Roadies are responsible for. Chappell, leaning on his cane, signals for Sgusa to come towards him: "My boy, summon the troops together at the 'A'-labs. There has been a most interesting development in my research which I would like to test out today. Then inform the cricket team that they are to play the inaugural series on the moon in 3 weeks, against Bangladesh and China, the two cricketing superpowers."

Sgusa: "Immediately sir. Would you like some hot fresh croissants this morning? I rolled and baked them myself. I have made a batch with a thin layer of chocolate inside, and another with butter and almond paste"

Chappell: "Not this morning. Far too much work to do. I appreciate your eagerness though, maybe I will have them later"

MockTurtle has become a favorite with Chappell. In fact, she is the only woman who is allowed on the campus. She carries out much of the research that goes on in the labs, and is a nagging food critic: "Butter and almond paste? Ugh! I cant stand croissants. They are so flaky and messy."

Sgusa: "Like most women I know, then"

MockTurtle: "Did you buy the croissants at the supermarket? Cooks have to be ready to work with whatever they've got, etc etc?"

Sgusa: "No, but I did stock up on chocolate ice cream on my trip to the supermarket. Stop by whenever you like if you want a scoop"

MockTurtle shivers and walks away. The story of her acceptance of The Process, and of Chappell's beliefs are quite legendary. It is rumored though, behind closed doors and only in the dead of the night, that Chappell clones dissenters and removes the genes that present as rebellious streaks. These are unwarranted claims though, and mainly used as a story to scare misbehaving children. The popular story of MockTurtle's conversion began with a staring contest between herself and Chappell, that lasted 4 days and nights. Witnesses claim that they actually saw threads of understanding being formed between the eyes of the two. Chappell is reputed to be much more congenial after that face-off. And MockTurtle, of course, is an important cog in the running of The Process.

The Roadies all assemble, quite excited that there will be a new experiment today. But, as is the rule in every group, there is the mandatory killjoy.

Fineleg, whose belief in The Process has been on the wane every since a clone of his was created with rather hairy and muscular legs, comments: "This cloning business is just not SAFE. How do you know it wont go WRONG? I cant have so much faith in some man who talks about journeys and processes."

DD: "Faith in the process is crucial. Guru greg is already not happy with your work in recent months, dont give him reason to throw you out. You know you dont have anywhere else to go"

Fineleg: "No way I would leave. The world out there is way too scary"

DD: "That's a pity. Now pay attention or I will have to demote you"

Suraj is busy writing up a report on the previous experiment, "Strengthening of Tendons by Inserting Gene 45XAr from Lions". He is a brilliant geneticist, and earned the appreciation of Chappell after he found a way to cure baldness. Such an achievement had its downfalls as well. Specifically, one man named PP went mad with glee and stalked Suraj for weeks. But that is another story (PP is still in rehab, and Ruchir has mentioned that he will be out for a couple of months). Suraj tells DD: "Hey, pity this experiment didnt work out, huh. That 45XAr was so tricky as it was on the same locus as the 'Predator' gene."

DD: "Yeah, how were we to know that CP's clone, after bowling and getting hit for 4 by Jaat's clone, would get angry and devour him"

Chappell: "Alright, crew. Silence. In the past few years, we have made significant strides towards the evolution of the cricket athlete. Fine examples of this, such as Suresh Raina (who now has 12,000 Test runs and is still jumping teammates with the exuberance of youth of a 19 year old) and Piyush Chawla, do us all very proud. But short term success is not the end of the journey. In fact, the journey never ends. Success is motivation for me to strive even harder.
(10 minutes later, after which even Kban yawns in boredom)
...and so, I present today's experiment to you. Over the past few months, I have been experimenting with chickens. Yes, chickens. I have stumbled upon a rare breed whose fearlessness rivals the equivalent bravery quotients of even lions and pumas. Today we will locate and extricate the genes that cause this using my patented ChappellWay, and implant them in a lucky clone. I will not reveal to you the particular test we will put this clone to, but I expect the results to be quite revolutionary."

There was a buzz about the Roadies. Such a daring experiment had not been attempted since the genes for hyperextension had been implanted into a clone of  Desi Yankee. Unfortunately, the genes were over-expressed and it resulted in hyperextension in the wrong area (get your mind out of the gutter guys, i meant his neck). The clone had to be disposed of, regrettably.

Everyone got to work immediately. One of the mottos of the ChappellWay is "Do not count your chickens before they have hatched" and that was literally put into practice here. The experiment would require 12 chickens, and CLR James went about choosing 12 of the highest class and pedigree. Having been commended by the great Don Bradman at a young age, CLR James had found a niche for himself in the quality control division of the ChappellWay. Greg Chappell was not always very fond of letters from The Don, but in this case he also realized the innate talents of CLR and immediately took him on board.

Sgusa had meanwhile informed the Secretary of the BCCI, Dextrous, of the tournament to be played on the moon. Dex set out to ready the team, who were at a training camp.

Dex: "Guys, I have an announcement. You will be playing in a tri-series featuring Bangladesh and China, on the moon. Prepare to leave in 10 days."

Suresh Raina, excited at the prospect of playing cricket in outer space, immediately jumped Pathan. Pathan, who in his career had developed into the world's greatest all-rounder and was captain of the Indian team, asked when the selection meeting would be. Dex told him that it would be the following day.

Pathan: "Alright boys, inshallah we will do well this series. We have been preparing for weeks at this camp. The moon will be one of the toughest away-series conditions we will encounter. I hope everyone is up for the challenge"

Raina, excited all over again, jumped Abid Nabi. Nabi was not fond of Raina's shows of affection and threw him off. Even at 33 years of age, Nabi was a throwback to the old days of cricket. All he was concerned with was pace, and he posed a very valid question: "If the moon has 1/6 of our gravity does it mean my deliveries will only be at 1/6 of the pace i.e. 30kph (Nabi had been clocked at 180kph regularly)?"

Dex: "No, Abid. The cricket ground on the moon is an indoor stadium where the gravity has been recalibrated to mimic that of the Earth's. The pitches that have been prepared though are rather rocky and will be very difficult to bat on."

Sachin Tendulkar jr (the great man's son - who had inherited, apart from his father's batting talent, the legend's voice): "Aiy, dont worry. We will bat well come rain, snow or meteor shower."

Raina attempted to hug Jr too, but was assaulted by Dex, who never appreciated such shows of affection.

Back at the campus, the Roadies were working hard. Having mapped and located the chicken's DNA, they were discussing methods to slice the section of chromosome out.

Ramshorns: "We should cut it away like Gundappa Viswanath did against Andy Roberts. These new fancy methods are cheap imitations, like comparing a Chevrolet to a Rolls Royce"

Ruchir: "Let's bomb the DNA"

Desi Yankee: "Are you crazy. What proof do you have that this will work. It is not the DNA's fault that it is difficult to slice. We should embrace it and cooperate with it"

K-slice: "We should throw the chicken in a borewell and see if the government will fund our studies in slicing it"

Justforkix: "It doesnt matter. We should get this done before tea so we can have some red label and single tea!"

Suraj, the brilliant geneticist, successfully slices the DNA out despite the helpful suggestions of the other Roadies, and it is incorporated into the DNA of the clone. The choosing of the clone is a most important selection. In this case, Fineleg is chosen. Chappell explains: "We need the most timid of characters, that resembles the physical make-up of the chicken most. As we have learnt from prior experiments, bits of DNA estranged from their natural bodies can act unpredictably and will often sour the process"

Despite protesting, Fineleg is hoisted into the cloning machine. "Be careful! Make SURE that nothing goes wrong."

Minutes later, Fineleg's clone emerges. The new version is studied and tested over the next few days. He is found to be rather composed, and less disposed to posting threads on the campus website. All agree that this is a favorable change.

The day of the test arrives. For preserving the secrecy of The Process, Chappell has not divulged the nature of the test to anyone.

Fineleg: "I would have nominated Ramshorns as he is the most balanced member of the Roadies! WHY have I been chosen? This is a BIASED selection! Guru Greg should EXPLAIN to the others WHY they have not been selected!"

Chappell: "SILENCE! There will be no more discussion of this. The time has come to unveil the Test. Fineleg II, step forward. You will, for your test, have to cross the busiest road in the city. You will not look back, you will not hesitate. If my research is correct, the completion of this test means that the protein this gene produces helps bypass the neural pathways that are activated upon the stimulus of danger, which is presented as fear in the subject."

Gouravk nods in approval.

Fineleg, aghast by the prospect of his clone having to cross the road, exclaims: "Dont you KNOW the percentages of accidents on that road!! This is hara-kiri! There is NO chance that the clone will survive! Just be safe and wait till the govt builds a traffic light and pedestrian crossing!"

Justforkix: "I am rooting for the road! Go road!!"

Gcspimpharsha: "A lesbian is gay and I am a lover of lesbians. I would gladly share my side of the bed with one, so I am straight. I sleep in my twin bed at perilous distances from my wife. This test is nothing compared to that. Fineleg dont be a SI SSY"

Cernunnos: "Is this test ICC-approved?"

Sgusa: "Here, Fineleg II, have some sustenance. I've made a 3-egg omelette for you"

MockTurtle: "He probably microwaved it"

Sgusa: "Oh you're doing your chances of winning the Congeniality Award wonders"

Justforkix: "You TL, you cant feed chicken eggs to someone with chicken genes!"

TheChowMeinWarrior: "The Italians have done this test ages ago. Unfortunately their subject got head-butted halfway across the road. Go Azzurri!"

Chappell lightly begins tapping his cane on the ground. The Roadies know he does this when he is angry. Silence reigns.

Chappell: "Good. Now, everyone, step aside, and let Fineleg II do what he was brought into this world for"

Fineleg II crosses the road without hesitation. Some say his bravery in crossing the road bordered on foolhardiness. Fineleg (original) fainted and could not witness this watershed achievement in the journey of The Process. It means a lot in the context of the creation of the perfect athlete. There is much joy and jubilation amongst the Roadies. MockTurtle and Sgusa make up and split the responsibilities of the banquet: Sgusa gets the alcohol while Mock prepares the main course, and together they prepare the dessert. The Roadies toast to Fineleg (Pietersan of course does the honors, drunk as is his wont "Jolly great! 'E hit that road for a six! Cheers you heart of a lion!") and then to the Indian team ("They'll be quite awrite up there. Blimey their performance will be out of this world!"). Chalk another one up for The Process.

---
Now you know why the chicken crossed the road 

[MockTurtle]

i would rather eat a mysore pak than be a cog in the wheel for grumpy's process applause regardless. i like the way you sidelined sgusa into just serving drinks. 

[suraj]

BLOODY BRILLIANT!!!!!!!!

These are the times I feel frustrated over the 12 hr rule- this one's worthy of 5 applauses!!!!

worthy of another read for all the subtle hidden jokes

TLs plz feel free to ask whtever u didn't get- no credit deduction for that!

[fineleg]

DD,
FANTASTIC! Applause. Wow! The DG is back alive again.

Suraj - please go ahead and put ur post on TL explanations.

Cheers.

[sgusa]

Dare i say you best ever!! But then you keep surpassing your prev efforts! Bravo!

[dhruvdeepak]

shukriya bhai log, and akka

[fineleg]

Bump...Are the Roadies series' writers alive?

[fineleg]

Bump...Are the Roadies series' writers alive?

Kaif again

[fineleg]

The Indian dressing room was a picture of serenity. The break of dawn had given way to a glorious morning and the dressing room was bathed in sunlight. Cool air streamed in from the wide open windows. Roadie Kban sat in a corner near Dravid’s locker with a laptop and Roadie K-slice lay flat on the floor softly singing along with the radio. All was well with Indian Cricket and it was good to be a cricket roadie.

The door burst open and Roadie Fineleg walked in and looked around frantically. He sighed and strode over to Kban and K-slice.

“Kban, where is everybody? The team meeting is in 3 hours and nobody is ready. We are playing Greece tomorrow and we need figure bowling strategies for Onassis, Socrates, Zagorakis, Archimedes, Philipoussis and Kedis. We also need to…”

“He is Lithuanian”, piped up K-slice.

“…what?”

“Anthony Kedis is Lithuanian. In fact, he is part-Lithuanian”

“I am telling you we cannot take Greece lightly. We need to score at least 400 if we want to be safe. We are lucky that George Soros is injured”, said a visibly miffed Fineleg. He turned to Kban.

“What are you doing?”

“Dravid keeps a journal of all the things that come into his head as he wakes up. Chappell thinks that it will help him visualize his own psyche and in time empower it to do what the physical body cannot. The visualization of the psyche is represented by an n-dimensional representation of the subconscious mind with...”

“I know - what are you doing?”

“I am re-writing it – obfuscating the details so that nobody will figure out our processes...”

“The Processes. That’s right, Roadies,” a boomin voice from behind Fineleg.

The Roadies turned to see Greg Chappell walk in to the room with a cane in his hand. Roadie Sgusa followed into the room behind him. Chappell continued, “This is the key to the Chappell Way. There is not one process but many processes. Focusing on all processes is the key and results will follow. You must never let this out of the our circle. People must continue to believe in the process - in the singular. This gives a significant tactical advantage"

“Yes, Sir.”

He turned and started out of the room. “And they should never know how much salt I put in the wholemeal pasta”, he called out as he went out the door.

Fineleg turned to Sgusa.

“3/8th of a teaspoon per pound of pasta.”

“Thanks.”

"Come on. Meal 1 is ready. Meal 2 is only 4 hours away at noon. I need help preparing the carb-free sauce and the guiltless pecan pie."

Another good thread - worth reading post #1 - written during a calm break period of CV DG.

[fineleg]

In the Roadies dining area (the dining area was a convenience made possible by the magnanimity of the Gates Buffet Foundation), people are enjoying the fruits of Sgusa’s efforts in the kitchen. As the meal comes to an end, Kban and Blwe start handing out copies of the agenda for the pre-match-day-post-lunch meet and a gentle banter begins between CP and Jaat. Despite the relatively blissful state of the Indian cricket, there is still occasion for disagreement, heated exchanges and pillow fights. Roadies unlike rockstars don’t get into fistfights.

Jaat: I think it is a disgrace that we should call our players names. RU is a great player who has served the Indian team very well and he has hit big hundreds in Perth and Durban. He saved our butt in Durban. I think it is unfair to call him “Uthappam” just because he puts on weight and fails a couple of times.

CP: Why can I not criticize non-performers? We call people names all the time. We call Fraser, “Eraser” because he announces the final eleven. He does not drop anybody, he just makes the announcement. You call that fair?

Kban: Alright, settle down. I call this meeting to order. The attendance sheet is being passed…

Jaat: I move that we restrain from derogatory christening of personnel…

Kban sighs. A long “exchange” follows where Kban patiently explains Robert’s Rules for Parliamentary Procedure. Jaat, totally defeated, is about to nod off when the spiel ends and he nudges his neighbor to rouse him from his deep slumber. A chain-reaction ensues and soon all roadies, rubbing their eyes, start deliberating on the issues put forth in the agenda. An hour later, Jaat revisits the christening crisis.

Jaat: I have friends from South India - it’s like calling SG “Rasgulla”. I don’t like it.

CP: What’s wrong with insinuating that SG is sweet and has creamy white complexion?

Kban: CP – you risk instigating everyone with your comments. It does not help maintain a constructive atmosphere.

CP: Mr. Chairman, I am shocked by this. I expected to be fully backed by you and the other Roadie officials in this matter. I am going to file a grievance with KIC.

Kban: There is no need for any action from anybody. We are not censuring anybody. As far as I can see nobody has breached any Roadie Rules.

CP: But you said I am instigating the members…

Kban: I said it is a risk. There is a difference between saying that you risk instigating people and preying on their sensitivities and saying that you instigated…

CP: OK. I have had enough. But let me just say that I am disappointed that you are not backing me on this delicate issue. I put my faith in this judicial process and...

Kban: I don’t see any delicate issue that I have to make a judgment on. As far as I am concerned, you received a friendly piece of advice on interacting with fellow roadies. There is a difference between friendly advice and formal censure – the latter being far more serious, with repercussions that may or may not include...

Blwe: It’s in the contract, Kban.

All the roadies in chorus: YEAH, KBAN.

Kban: Thanks, Mr. Vice-Chairman. Glad that has been settled. Anything else?

Cerrunos: May I have the floor, Mr. Chairman?

Kban: Yes, you may.

Cerrunos: I am concerned about personnel loyalty and opposition response to changes in personnel.

DD: huh?

Cerrunos: Chanders’ batting average dropped from 140.50 for the SG lead series to 48.00 for the RD led series. This discrepancy is large and I decided some further investigation is necessary. I found that Flintoff is really chummy with RD and reportedly spent a lot of time sampling English beers when RD played for Kent. SG only drank Indian beer and so Freddie thinks he is a snob. Also, MSD comes into the scene just when there is a process to kick SG out of the team. MSD makes an impact in couple of games under SG but his best is saved for RD’s legacy. I am convinced that further investigation will reveal damning evidence of a World Wide Conspiracy.

(silence)

Cerrunos: The ICC concurs with me on this.

(pause)

Blwe: Very serious, indeed. I move that we start the next meeting with the World Conspiracy against SG debate.

Dex: I second the motion.

LOL!