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[dhruvdeepak]

do you find yourself struggling to get your friends' jokes?
do you find yourself being poked fun at because you're always asking for jokes to be explained?
do you find yourself to be the laughing stock of your DG because you Just Dont Get It?

now presenting the opening of:

High & Dry TL Training Program

+ Hands-on training from world-renowned TL experts
+ Friendly instructors who teach for the love of the job
+ Work through 4 comprehensive levels of training to earn your TL diploma
+ Hordes of prestigious DG members already enrolled
+ Atrociously low price of 1 applause every 24 hours
+ 100% success guaranteed or your fees back.
+ Not only will we teach you to decipher jokes, but predict them as well and make some of your own!

[justforkix]

DD - Brilliant AD campaign and promotion of our academic institution 

PS : I think we need a key for folks who don't know what TL is, or is that part of the orientation program

[dhruvdeepak]

DD - Brilliant AD campaign and promotion of our academic institution 

PS : I think we need a key. What about folks who don't know what TL is, or is that part of the orientation program

yes its part of the Process.
Sometimes a harsh initiation is necessary, we have to bring people out of their comfort zones. It should also be noted that we are big proponents of flexibility and experimentation, so be prepared to join into an engaging and challenging environment where you are guaranteed to become better people.

A peek into our course program....

Lecture 1:

Introduction - a light joke to start.
How many DG members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: 3. 2 to argue either side of Ganguly's case for being in the Indian team, and 1 to actually screw the light bulb in

[keep-it-cool]

If I may contribute one too ....

What is the full form of PJ?

scroll down for the right answer
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Its Joke. The P is silent.

[dhruvdeepak]

If I may contribute one too ....

What is the full form of PJ?

scroll down for the right answer
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Its Joke. The P is silent.

no doubt this will befuddle a few of our students. but no problem, it is part of the process.

(on a side bar, fineleg might just open a thread/poll about this joke  . fineleg feel free to report me to the mods if I have hurt your sentiments)

[keep-it-cool]

If I may contribute one too ....

What is the full form of PJ?

scroll down for the right answer
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.....................................................
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.....................................................
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.....................................................
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Its Joke. The P is silent.

no doubt this will befuddle a few of our students. but no problem, it is part of the process.

(on a side bar, fineleg might just open a thread/poll about this joke  . fineleg feel free to report me to the mods if I have hurt your sentiments)

guess you could add it in to one of the advanced levels... with the help of a detailed powerpoint presentation, I will be able to explain it quite well to most of the students ....

[sgusa]

DD - Brilliant AD campaign and promotion of our academic institution 

PS : I think we need a key for folks who don't know what TL is, or is that part of the orientation program

And i can teach them to appreciate how fine wine ( or the cheap boxed stuff ) helps one to find even the normalcy amusing.

[fineleg]

( . fineleg feel free to report me to the mods if I have hurt your sentiments)

DD oh DD,
U have broken many hearts! Mine is only one among them  

BTW, do they still call u DD oh DD? I am supposed to have the exclusive rights to it now!

[Cover Point]

Introduction - a light joke to start.
How many DG members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: 3. 2 to argue either side of Ganguly's case for being in the Indian team, and 1 to actually screw the light bulb in

I cant see your academy being too successful. You cant even get a simple joke right.

The answer to your question is Cant be done.

2 will argue either side of the SG divide. The third will report the Anti Ganguly person to the mods. The mods would send a friendly advise. The rest of the DG would join in.

Kban would then write a long long Ramayana (the unabridged version) to explain why the mod's action was valid. The entire DG would argue and then Dex would move the light bulb into the Bugs/Features/Suggestions section where it would die of natural causes.

Simple really.

[dhruvdeepak]

Introduction - a light joke to start.
How many DG members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: 3. 2 to argue either side of Ganguly's case for being in the Indian team, and 1 to actually screw the light bulb in

I cant see your academy being too successful. You cant even get a simple joke right.

The answer to your question is Cant be done.

2 will argue either side of the SG divide. The third will report the Anti Ganguly person to the mods. The mods would send a friendly advise. The rest of the DG would join in.

Kban would then write a long long Ramayana (the unabridged version) to explain why the mod's action was valid. The entire DG would argue and then Dex would move the light bulb into the Bugs/Features/Suggestions section where it would die of natural causes.

Simple really.

hehehehe
so the moral of the story is that this DG is ultimately not illuminated by light bulbs, but by Tube Lights 

[kban1]

fineleg:

DD oh DD,
U have broken many hearts! Mine is only one among them   

BTW, do they still call u DD oh DD? I am supposed to have the exclusive rights to it now!

Have you been in touch with Raina recently ?

[Cover Point]

hehehehe
so the moral of the story is that this DG is ultimately not illuminated by light bulbs, but by Tube Lights 

Illuminated?

Birbal ko diye se garmi mili thi
Yahan to diye ki mom bhi thandi par gayi hai.
Jaise Dravid ko ummeed thi test win ki
Ab to us ummeed pe bhi barish pad gayi hai!

adab adab

[dhruvdeepak]

wah wah.
yay our institute got its own thread 

[dextrous]

Introduction - a light joke to start.
How many DG members does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Answer: 3. 2 to argue either side of Ganguly's case for being in the Indian team, and 1 to actually screw the light bulb in

I cant see your academy being too successful. You cant even get a simple joke right.

The answer to your question is Cant be done.

2 will argue either side of the SG divide. The third will report the Anti Ganguly person to the mods. The mods would send a friendly advise. The rest of the DG would join in.

Kban would then write a long long Ramayana (the unabridged version) to explain why the mod's action was valid. The entire DG would argue and then Dex would move the light bulb into the Bugs/Features/Suggestions section where it would die of natural causes.

Simple really.

Seem to forget a few points that nobody but you should know:
1. Before the anit-ganguly person is reported to the mod, there will be 9 other reports against a pro-ganguly person and public trials will be demanded.
2. Cover point will ponder about how much hatred there is in the world and why we are all fighting while crying about how opressed he is and how everyone calls him names and nobody does anything and that he has never ever killed an ant or breathed too hard as to kill a bacteria in the air. For me, that's always the best part.

[Cover Point]

Seem to forget a few points that nobody but you should know:
1. Before the anit-ganguly person is reported to the mod, there will be 9 other reports against a pro-ganguly person and public trials will be demanded.

Yup. I totally forgot that. See calling someone (a fellow DGer) a Khotey da puttar is exactly the same as calling a cricket player Mr Zero. I keep forgetting that.

2. Cover point will ponder about how much hatred there is in the world and why we are all fighting while crying about how opressed he is and how everyone calls him names and nobody does anything and that he has never ever killed an ant or breathed too hard as to kill a bacteria in the air. For me, that's always the best part.

Jhoot Bolna paap hai. And I dont want have my pants caught on fire. I need to confess. There is a little ant hill in my back yard. I have named all the ants there Dextrous. I make it a point to kill atleast one a day!

The bacteria story may have some merit.

[Blwe_torch]

Seem to forget a few points that nobody but you should know:
1. Before the anit-ganguly person is reported to the mod, there will be 9 other reports against a pro-ganguly person and public trials will be demanded.

Yup. I totally forgot that. See calling someone (a fellow DGer) a Khotey da puttar is exactly the same as calling a cricket player Mr Zero. I keep forgetting that.

2. Cover point will ponder about how much hatred there is in the world and why we are all fighting while crying about how opressed he is and how everyone calls him names and nobody does anything and that he has never ever killed an ant or breathed too hard as to kill a bacteria in the air. For me, that's always the best part.

Jhoot Bolna paap hai. And I dont want have my pants caught on fire. I need to confess. There is a little ant hill in my back yard. I have named all the ants there Dextrous. I make it a point to kill atleast one a day!

The bacteria story may have some merit.

CP saab!.......Aap itne bhi burhe to nahin lagte!
khud ki diyi hui gaaliyaan bahut jaldi bhool gaye!
Cover karna hai to puri tarha Cover karo!

[justforkix]

CP, Dex and Blwe :

Can you please stop trashing our (DD and mine) institution thread !!!!! 

Plz GROW UP or take up your arguments off-line via e-mail/PMs or in a separate thread !!!!!  However, do leak those e-mails from time to time

[dhruvdeepak]

after consulting with jfk, we have decided that Dex and CP are suspended till further notice.

[fineleg]

after consulting with jfk, we have decided that Dex and CP are suspended till further notice.

And ur thread will get banished/suspended to the Feedback folder. lol.

[justforkix]

after consulting with jfk, we have decided that Dex and CP are suspended till further notice.

And ur thread will get banished/suspended to the Feedback folder. lol.

We don't need to worry about that when our seniormost student is the leading thread starter on this DG 

[kban1]

We don't need to worry about that when our seniormost student is the leading thread starter on this DG   

Easy come, easy go!!

 

[Cover Point]

after consulting with jfk, we have decided that Dex and CP are suspended till further notice.

Ahsaan Faramosh!!! this after I gave the proper answer of the screw in the light bulb joke?

Ab hum class ke bahar baith ke student Union banyenge!

From Mandal Commision days the nara was

Ek Gadhe ke teen naam VP Yadav, Paaswan

Now it is

Ek Gadhe ke Do naam, JFK, DD Dono Badnaam!

Hai Hai etc etc

[sgusa]

Jeez, its like, you know , like, you two, CP and dex, are like, totally out to get each other. Like chill, dudes.

( Way too much time spent in my youth being a TA for UGs in a midwestern school  )

[fineleg]

Jeez, its like, you know , like, you two, CP and dex, are like, totally out to get each other. Like chill, dudes.

( Way too much time spent in my youth being a TA for UGs in a midwestern school  )

Mmmmm...

[justforkix]

Ab hum class ke bahar baith ke student Union banyenge!

Ek Gadhe ke Do naam, JFK, DD Dono Badnaam!

Hai Hai etc etc

Already issued a Supari for CP and Dex. Be ready for some laati charge and H2SO4 from sgusa.

Withdraw the strike or else face the consequences

[Cover Point]

Already issued a Supari for CP and Dex. Be ready for some laati charge and H2SO4 from sgusa.

Withdraw the strike or else face the consequences

Tanashahi ... Nahin Chalegi!
Humse Jo Takrayega .. choor Choor ho Jayega!
Inquilab Zindabad
etc etc

[dhruvdeepak]

Jeez, its like, you know , like, you two, CP and dex, are like, totally out to get each other. Like chill, dudes.

( Way too much time spent in my youth being a TA for UGs in a midwestern school  )

Mmmmm...

do you enjoy something about youths, undergrads or the midwest that you'd like to tell us about?

[achutank]

15 june 2006

to
the respected DD,
dean,
The University of CV curriculum for the luminously challenged,
up * creek,
URanus.

sir/madam,
after going through this enlightening thread i would like to bring to your august presence*** the fact that you have not yet commented on the true nature of the issue entitled "Screw the Ligh Bulb". Obviously the purpose as you must concur is not to find out how many people screw the light bulb - the obvious answer to that is zero. because the people on the Dg are too busy screwing each other. the real purpose is to self-evaluate the need for a course in your university by checking for the following symptoms

a) lack of ability to write three complete words without using the following letters "s" "t" "a" "t" "s"
b) an intense desire to justify everything including farts, burps, nose-thingys and chest-hair
c) watching for the letters "s" "g" "c" and able to spot it inside a monologue of 10983 characters only written using the letters "q" "u" "z" "y" "x"


i hope that this small  contribution to the greater good of knowledge in your esteemed university would get me at least a tution waiver failing which at least free wadapavs in the student canteen.

yours faithful servant
achutank
student-2B
back-of-beyond
kansas?
no kan sas ever be a bahu?


*** actually its june now but never mind

[dhruvdeepak]

15 june 2006

to
the respected DD,
dean,
The University of CV curriculum for the luminously challenged,
up * creek,
URanus.

sir/madam,
after going through this enlightening thread i would like to bring to your august presence*** the fact that you have not yet commented on the true nature of the issue entitled "Screw the Ligh Bulb". Obviously the purpose as you must concur is not to find out how many people screw the light bulb - the obvious answer to that is zero. because the people on the Dg are too busy screwing each other. the real purpose is to self-evaluate the need for a course in your university by checking for the following symptoms

a) lack of ability to write three complete words without using the following letters "s" "t" "a" "t" "s"
b) an intense desire to justify everything including farts, burps, nose-thingys and chest-hair
c) watching for the letters "s" "g" "c" and able to spot it inside a monologue of 10983 characters only written using the letters "q" "u" "z" "y" "x"


i hope that this small  contribution to the greater good of knowledge in your esteemed university would get me at least a tution waiver failing which at least free wadapavs in the student canteen.

yours faithful servant
achutank
student-2B
back-of-beyond
kansas?
no kan sas ever be a bahu?


*** actually its june now but never mind

to
Sir Achutank
Dude of the DG

After conferring with my colleagues here at the University, we have decided to take a politically correct stance on issues containing the letters 's', 'g' or 'c'. No more will we provide course material that contains these letters.
We have however realized the need for a program that deals with the three symptoms you have candidly mentioned. If those three types of people are not luminously challenged, then no one is. As you have pointed out, there can be no light if DG members are too busy screwing each other. This is a problem worse than that afflicting tubelights.
In the coming weeks we will introduce a curriculum for the abovementioned persons. Admittance to this program will be free of charge. We are all for the betterment of this DG.
The program will be christened 'Achutank's Program for Peace' with your blessing. We feel this is the best way to repay your contributions. As a TL student your fees will be waivered and we will even hire a new cook in the cantene to make better wada pavs, free of cost of course for you.

We thank you for your thoughts and input, and the faculty would like to congratulate you on your progress towards DG-nirvana.

Yours sincerely,
DD
Dean
The
The University of CV curriculum for the luminously challenged

[fineleg]

Dude Achu,
Don't go near this University...Read this! Flash news "under the hood" investigative report!
http://www.cricketvoice.com/cricketforum2/index.php?topic=3604.msg45558#msg45558

[kban1]

fineleg:

I thought figuring things out under the hood was a female pastime.

Hmmmm .... well I guess it figures

[fineleg]

fineleg:

I thought figuring things out under the hood was a female pastime.

Hmmmm .... well I guess it figures

Now ur doing some under the hood figuring out 

[kban1]

I am surprised -- you ought to pay more attention to what the other women around you talk about. 

[fineleg]

I am surprised -- you ought to pay more attention to what the other women around you talk about. 

And what would that be? 

[kban1]

Fineleg --

Are you telling me you have seriously not heard of the phrase "checking out whats under the hood" before ?

[dhruvdeepak]

Fineleg --

Are you telling me you have seriously not heard of the phrase "checking out whats under the hood" before ?

Fineleg TL

[fineleg]

Fineleg --

Are you telling me you have seriously not heard of the phrase "checking out whats under the hood" before ?

I've heard this in other contexts...but not sure if I've in "the" context that u seem to be zoning in on...though I can prob extrapolate to read kban's mind!

[kban1]

You need to let go of DD and mix around with some women -- Open your mind 

Alternatively, enrol in the University right now -- we also offer courses on such enlightening matters 

[Cover Point]

You need to let go of DD and mix around with some women -- Open your mind 

thats what happens when lesbos try to go str8. Fineleg you cant go against nature. Lesbian ho... to ladkiyan dhondo. DD ko gopiyon ke liye beep do.

[dhruvdeepak]

New addition to the curriculum: Asterix and Obelix jokes. I hope all our students get them.

In The Twelve Tasks of Asterix, Caesar tells Brutus: "Stop playing about with that knife, you'll end up hurting someone"