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[dextrous]

No kabab for Kasab
 Manas Gupta  Friday August 07, 2009

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Mocking-Bird/entry/no-kabab-for-kasab
Mohammed Ajmal Kasab wants to eat mutton biryani. Apparently, he does not like jail food. Maybe it’s too fattening. Well, I’ve got noose er news for you. According to reliable sources, a goat was requisitioned to be served to Kasab but it flatly refused. It (the goat that is) has now filed a PIL seeking a stay on insulting Indian animals by serving them to bloodthirsty terrorists.



This entire trial is now becoming a joke. The man who massacred so many Indians on that fateful day in Mumbai is behaving like a spoilt celebrity, and the world is laughing at us.



Just look at the list of demands the man has made. He wants toothpaste, an Urdu newspaper, perfume and now mutton biryani. Will somebody tell this guy he’s not on an all-expense paid vacation. Toothpaste I can understand, he wants to wash that dirty mouth. But why the perfume? I wonder which girl he’s planning to impress behind bars. As for the newspaper, I say give him one… only roll it up and hit him on the nose with it whenever he throws a tantrum. Believe me, it works. At least it did for my spoilt Pomeranian.



What next? How about an LCD TV, a split AC, a king-sized bed, a Blackberry and a Bentley for transportation to court? If we are treating him like a VVIP and keeping him in a fortress, we might as well go the whole hog. In fact, why not give him an entry to Rakhi’s swayamvar? On second thoughts no, such torture might anger amnesty international.



The other day, he asked for permission to stroll outside his jail cell. A walk on the wild side, eh? I think walking won’t make him very fit. What he needs is to run. I am partial to those contraptions in labs which have mice and hamsters constantly running, spinning the wheel as they do. That would be fun…to watch.



He also wanted someone to tie him a rakhi on Rakshabandhan. Don’t worry dude. We’re readying a large one for you. Only this one goes around your neck. Hasta la vista baby.



Disclaimer: Taking my articles seriously can be injurious to your sense of humour. Please note that this blog is only intended to lampoon people and events. Also, the views published here are entirely my own and not my employer’s.