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[keep-it-cool]

Count me in that group!

http://passionforcinema.com/the-adventures-of-pappu-and-pappi/#comment-212627

FADE IN

Text on screen reads: “10 years ago”

EXT – CINEMA HALL IN SUBURBAN MUMBAI – NIGHT

Pappu and Pappi are two amongst hundreds of people trickling out of the cinema hall. They light a cigarette and lazily stroll toward their bikes.

Pappu
Picture kaisi lagi re? [What'd you think of the film?]

Pappi
Sahi thi boss… gaane achche the, acting solid thi, heroine tho kya mast item thi. Paisa vasool ho gayela, tho dil khush ho gayela. Bas, aur kya mangta hai? [Loved it... nice songs, good acting, the heroine was hot. I got my money's worth. What more can one ask for?]

Pappu
Zindagi mein ek baar Switzerland jaana mangta hai. Saala baraf mein kabhi nahi khela hai yaar. [I wanna go to Switzerland, just once. I've never played in the snow.]

Pappi
Tho honeymoon ke liye chale jaana. [Go for your honeymoon then.]

Pappu’s eyes light up as he envisions playing around in the snow with a beautiful sari-clad wife, a la film-they-just-watched.

FADE OUT

FADE IN

Text on screen reads: “Present Day”

EXT – CINEMA HALL IN SUBURBAN MUMBAI – NIGHT

The same scene replays in present day, except Pappu is now walking to his Mercedes and Pappi to his Opel. They’ve just finished watching “Jazz Off?”

Pappu
So what’d you think?

Pappi
Dude, are you kidding me? What a beepall film. You call that lyrics? How about the music? That ain’t jazz!! Talk about fake and beeping pseudo-intellectual beeps trying to stylize jazz like that. It was a slap on the face of jazz music.

Pappu
Really? What do you know about jazz and lyrics?

Pappi
That’s besides the point. I don’t need to know anything to critique it. I’m paying the money to watch the movie, aren’t I?

Pappu
Well, maybe they were trying to reach the masses. It’s hard enough to come by a film these days that’s barely a good watch in the theatres. I for one got my money’s worth. Isn’t that important? Isn’t that what it used to be about?

Pappi
You need to watch Faronofski’s and Bieslowski’s films. Drool worthy.

Pappu
You really love those foreign and independent filmmakers, don’t you?

Pappi
What’s not to love? They re-define cinema man. Unlike these Bollywood jerks churning out trash after trash.

Pappu
Pappi, you need a jaadu ki jhappi.

Pappi
Oh god. Don’t remind me of that stupid Choonabhai movie.

Pappu
You didn’t like Choonabhai?

Pappi
What was there to like? A martyr saves the day crap. Totally unreal. Sabko choona laga diya. What was the point?

Pappu
Why does there need to be a point?

Pappi
Of course there does. Otherwise, why am I even watching the movie?

Pappu
This may be a shot in the dark… but how about for the sake of entertainment? That’s what it used to be about back in the day. Doesn’t something like Jo Haara Wohi Bandar still pump you up today when you watch the final fatfatiya race? Or do you analyze the gears on the model of Panju’s fatfatiya and claim that that particular model doesn’t change gears that quickly? Or do you cry foul on the editor because he chose to slow down Paanchva Nasha and show it in slow motion?

Pappi
That was back in the day. Like Catman said in Catman Returns, “things change”.

Pappu
But they don’t have to. You can still enjoy a movie for its face value.

Pappi
Who the beep cares about face value now dude? What year and country are you living in? This is the information age. I’m sharing my review with the world on my blog as soon as I get home.

Pappu
So you’re a critic for everything now?

Pappi
Let’s not go there. I’m better than critics. Critics can’t even critique properly. They’re a waste of space and time. I’m still at a loss for words on how they get paid to review films.

Pappu
Why do you care about them so much? It’s just another person doing their job. Nothing more than their opinion, really. Why so serious? Take light boss.

Pappi
They influence the public. Praise the shit films to the skies and burn down the good ones. Pseudo-intellectuals, each one of them, just like Unsaif Ali Khan for doing a film like “Being Papyrus” or Kaun Abraham for doing a film like “No Running”.

Pappu
What’s wrong with them for doing a film like that?

Pappi
They’re trying to make themselves saleable to the festival and parallel film crowds. Do they really think they’ve got what it takes to do pure, serious cinema? Nope. That’s why they’re fake.

Pappu
And where’s the harm in that? If I was them, I’d do it too. You criticized them for doing films like Saara Dum Dum and Naram Masala, and now they want a change of image so they don’t get slotted, and you’re bashing them for that too? Make up your mind.

Pappi
They need to know where they stand.

Pappu
And you’re gonna teach them that?

Pappi
I don’t care to. I just call a spade a spade.

Pappu
Maybe you should become their manager. Maybe then they’ll get the right roles.

Pappi
Dude, who are you to talk? You liked a film like Maane Tu Ya Maane Na.

Pappu
So? I never called it a pathbreaking film. I enjoyed the songs. It was a cute film. Took me back to my school days.

Pappi
It’s because of idiots like you that these films become hits.

Pappu
Maybe you just forgot how to watch a movie.

Pappi
Let’s just say that I’m wiser now.

Pappu
If that’s the case, what was the last movie where you just laid back and enjoyed? No analysis, just watched and enjoyed.

Pappi is silent. He ponders, but can’t come up with a name. They arrive at their cars.

Pappu
Don’t strain a brain. Think of one for the next time we meet. I’m off to my salsa lessons.

Pappi
You can’t dance, saala. You never could.

Pappu flicks his middle finger at him and drives away. Pappi goes back to thinking.

[achutank]

i am not one for reverse snobbery

most hindi films suck and suck big time and yes independent east european film makers at least have something new to offer and who says they are not entertaining?

and if someone loves hindi films masala so much then why are they not in the theatre watching RGV's Aaargh!!!

[keep-it-cool]

a) RGV's Aaargh is not a benchmark for any film
b) Incidentally, I watched it too

[achutank]

a) RGV's Aaargh is not a benchmark for any film
b) Incidentally, I watched it too

which explains why you looked so spaced out last time we met

[keep-it-cool]

a) RGV's Aaargh is not a benchmark for any film
b) Incidentally, I watched it too

which explains why you looked so spaced out last time we met

Nah ... I didnt delay watching Aag that much ... first day fourth show ... the theater was full and hence the experience was even more entertaining