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[VMenon]

NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER
 
Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,
Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
 
Randier than a sailor, who's been six months at sea.
Never let a cricketer's hand an inch above your knee.
 
First let's take the Paceman, pure speed from first to last.
My darlings do be careful, his balls are hard and fast.
 
Then there's the Medium Pacer, his balls swing either way.
He's really most persistent and can keep it up all day.
 
Watch out for the Off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap.
If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap.
 
Then there's the wily 'slowy', pure cunning is his strength,
He'll tempt you, then he'll trap you with his very subtle length.
 
So ladies, do be careful---your mothers would agree.
Never trust a cricketer----whoever he may be.
 
And what about the Opening bat, his struggles never cease,
He has just one ambition, to spend all day at the 'crease'.
 
The number Three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes,
When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes.
 
And do beware the Slogger, not content with one or two,
When he opens up for action, then only six will do.
 
Then there's the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he's about,
and if you let him settle in, it's hard to get him out.
 
We come now to the last man, be ready for a shock,
He doesn't mind if he's last man in -as long as he gets a knock.
 
So, darlings, do be careful-and be well warned by me,
Never trust a cricketer- whoever he may be.
 
And watch the wicket keeper, girls; he's full of flair and dash,
And if you raise your heels, he'll whip 'em off in a flash.
 
If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score
or he'll have you in positions that you never knew before.
 
The cricket commentator- is a nosey sort of bloke,
He watches all the action and describes it stroke by stroke.
 
Even the kindly umpire-may look friendly as a pup,
You'll quickly find you've had it, when he puts his finger up.
 
So, darlings please remember, repeat it after me,
 
NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER-WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!!!