Dont miss C ,S and R
ALL WHO LOVE CALCUTTA AND BENGAL...
A is for Awpheesh (as in Office). This is where the average Kolkakattan
goes and spends a day hard at work. And if he works for the 'West Bengal
Gawrment' he will arrive at 10, wipe his forehead till 11, have a tea
break at 12, throw around a few files at 12.30, break for lunch at 1, smoke
an unfiltered cigarette at 2, break for tea at 3, sleep sitting down at 4
and go home at 4:30. It's a hard life!
B is for Bhision. For some reason many Bengalis don't have good bhision.
In fact in Kolkata most people are wearing spectacles all the time.
C is for Chappell (as in Greg). Currently, this is the Bengali word for the
Devil, for the worst form of evil. In the night mothers put their kids to
sleep saying, 'Na ghumaley Chappell eshey dhorey niye jabe.' (If you don't
sleep, Chappel will come and take you away!!)
D is for Debashish or any other name starting with Deb. By an ancient law
every fourth Bengali Child has to be named Debashish. So you have a
Debashish everywhere and trying to get creative they are also called Deb,
Debu, Deba with variations like Debanik, Deboprotim, Debojyoti, etc. thrown
in at times.
E is for Eeesh. This is a very common Bengali exclamation made famous by
Aishwarya Rai in the movie Devdas. It is estimated that on an average a
Bengali, especially Bengali women, use eeesh 10,089 times every year. 'Ei
Morechhey' is a close second to Eeesh.
F is for Feeesh. These are creatures that swim in rivers and seas and are
a favourite food of the Bengalis. Despite the fact that a fish market has
such
strong smells, with one sniff a Bengali knows if a fish is all right. If
not he will say 'eeesh what feeesh is theesh!'
G is for Good name. Every Bengali boy will have a good name like Debashish
or Deboprotim and a pet name like Motka, Bhombol, Thobla, etc. While every
Bengali girls will have pet names like Tia, Tuktuki, Mishti, Khuku, etc.
H is for Harmonium. This the Bengali equivalent of a rock guitar. Take
four Bengalis and a Harmonium and you have the successors to The Bheatles!
I is for lleesh. This is a feeesh with 10,000 bones which would kill any
ordinary person, but which the Bengalis eat with releeesh!
J is for Jhola. No self respecting Bengali is complete without his Jhola.
It is a shapeless cloth bag where he keeps all his belongings and he fits
an amazing number of things in. Even as you read this there are 2 million
jholas bobbling around Kolkata- and they all look exactly the same! Note
that 'Jhol' as in Maachher Jhol is a close second
K is for Kee Kaando !. It used to be the favourite Bengali exclamation
till eeesh took over because of Aishwarya Rai (now Kee Kando's agent is
trying to hire Bipasha Basu).
L is for Lungi - the dress for all occasions. People in Kolkata manage to
play football and cricket wearing it not to mention the daily trip in the
morning to the local bajaar. Now there is talk of a lungi expedition to
Mt. Everest .
M is for Minibus. These are dangerous half buses whose antics would
effortlessly frighten the living daylights out of all James Bond stuntmen
as well as Formula 1 race car drivers. M is also for Maunkey Cap and
Muphler!!
N is for Nangto. This is the Bengali word for Naked. It is the most
interesting naked word in any language!
O is for Oil. The Bengalis believe that a touch of mustard oil will cure
anything from cold (oil in the nose), to earache (oil in the ear), to
cough (oil on the throat) to piles (oil you know where!)
P is for Phootball. This is always a phavourite phassion of the Kolkattan.
Every Bengali is born an expert in this game. The two biggest clubs there
are
Mohunbagan and East Bengal and when they play the city comes to a stop.
Q is for Queen. This really has nothing to do with the Bengalis or Kolkata,
but it's the only Q word one can think of. There's also Quilt but they
never use them in Kolkata.
R is for Robi Thakur. Many nany years ago Rabindranath got the Nobel
Prize. This has given the right to all Bengalis no matter where they are to
frame their acceptance speeches as if they were directly related to the
great poet and walk with their head held high. This also gives Bengalis the
birthright to look down at Delhi and Mumbai and of course 'all
non-Bengawlees' ! Note that 'Rawshogolla' comes a close second !
S is for Shourav. Now that they finally produced a genuine cricketer and a
captain, Bengalis think that he should be allowed to play until he is 70
years old. Of course they will see to it that he stays in good form by
doing a little bit of 'joggo' and 'maanot'.
T is for Trams. Hundred years later there are still trams in Kolkata. Of
course if you are in a hurry it's faster to walk.
U is for Aambrela.. When a Bengali baby is born he is handed one.
V is for Bhaayolence. Bengalis are the most non-violent violent people
around. When an accident happens they will fold up their sleeves, shout and
scream and curse and abuse, "Chherey De Bolchhi" but the last time someone
actually hit someone was in 1947.
W is for Water. For three months of the year the city is underwater and
every year for the last 200 years the authorities are taken by surprise by
this!
X is for X'mas. It's very big in Kolkata, with ParkStreet fully lit up and
all Bengalis agreeing that they must eat cake that day.
Y is for Yesshtaarday. Which is always better than today for a Bengali
(see R for Robi Thakur).
Z is for Jebra, Joo, Jipper and Jylophone..
AuthorTopic: Shame on Bengalis (Read 551 times)
December 31, 2006, 08:24:22 AM