Graeme Smith's World Cup diary
Dan Nicholl
Wed, 25 Apr 2007
On the eve of the Cricket World Cup semifinal against Australia, Dan’s World provides another exclusive glimpse into the tournament diary of Graeme Smith…
It took a little time and plenty of effort, but iafrica.com has once again smuggled an excerpt from Graeme Smith’s World Cup diary out of the Caribbean, and onto the pages of Dan’s World…
Tuesday 10 April: We’re back! Bangladesh hiccup behind us, and we’re now really on track. AB did really well, and the semis are firmly in sight. Felt a bit sorry for the West Indies — being knocked out on home turf is always tough — and the 100-odd people at the ground were pretty muted (except for our supporters, who were great as always). Apparently loads of South Africans are flying out to cheer us on, and there could be as many as 500 people at the game if we make the semifinals. What an atmosphere — can’t wait.
Wednesday 11 April: This is turning into a very weird tournament. First Justin was convinced he’d seen Boeta Dippenaar in a taxi leaving the hotel; then AB’s room was trashed, with the letters ‘BD’ etched into the door with a screwdriver. And this time Barney was gone, with no note left at all. AB is distraught, and we had a team meeting, to try and determine who ‘BD’ could be. Finally I cracked it (I think): Billy Doctrove, the West Indian umpire, obviously upset about us knocking his team out of the tournament yesterday. Not sure what to do about it, to be honest.
Thursday 12 April: Had a rest day today. Jonty went hang-gliding again, and most of us went to the beach. We all tried to cheer AB up (still no news on Barney), and Mark and Makhaya acted out the potato crisps and soft drink ads again with him, which raised AB’s spirits a little. To be honest, I was a little affronted not to be included in the ads, especially after some pretty solid work in the Momentum commercial. Apparently, both the crisps and soft drink companies were “cautious of the perceived negative perception of dietary impact of our product should Graeme be included”, or words to that effect. Advertising jargon.
Friday 13 April: Enter Private Eye Smith… Envelope arrived at reception for AB, with a note to leave the country immediately — and with Barney’s thumb inside, hacked off AB’s favourite soft toy! Thankfully I intercepted it before it got to AB (he’s upset enough already). Went to the police, and wasn’t terribly impressed — don’t think they took it all that seriously, to be honest. But they assured me that as soon as they’d finished watching the cricket, they’d get going with the Woolmer investigation (they’d already bought package tickets, so I guess the delay is understandable), and once that’s done, they’ll look into Barney’s kidnap. In the mean time, my own investigations continue, with one Billy Doctrove the chief suspect...
Saturday 14 April: Dismal, dismal day. Didn’t sleep much last night, thinking about the case (can you analyse handwriting if it’s done with a screwdriver?), and then we go and lose to New Zealand. Worst was still to come, though — after the game, Percy Sonn arrived in the dressing room, and said he was taking over from Mickey, and managing our training to get into the semis. Nothing we could do about it, and so off we went with him; let’s just say Percy’s training methods are pretty novel, and involve an awful lot of brandy and coke. Got back to the hotel at half three; the rest of the team were still training when I left.
Sunday 15 April: Woke up feeling wretched. Thank heavens for breakfast buffets (well, more than usual). And then the phone started going… Apparently some supporting South Africans had spotted our training session with Percy, and misconstrued it entirely (think Kevin Pietersen may have been responsible, to be honest). Gerald was on the phone, plus a million reporters; all I wanted was a greasy breakfast and some industrial painkillers. Hope Percy knows what he’s doing; the whole team looks a little rough this morning. Still, if we beat England, I guess it’ll have been worth it.
Monday 16 April: Everyone, but everyone, is on our back. Read a quote from Boeta Dippenaar (the report said he was in the West Indies, which must be a mistake), saying all the guilty players should be sent home, and a new team selected immediately. Honestly… Tried to get through training, but Percy kept halting the net session to distribute jager bombs and tequilas. Herschelle thinks Percy is a coaching genius; I’m not convinced. Especially with England a must-win tomorrow…
Tuesday 17 April: We won! We killed them, absolutely murdered them. And best of all, Kevin Pietersen out for 3. Beautiful… Semifinal against Australia beckons. Two wins, and we’re World Champions. Trying not to get too over-excited, but it’s tough. Have to stay down to earth, and focus on the cricket — and complete my plans for a midnight raid on Billy Doctrove’s house in search of Barney. Who thought being an international cricket captain would have been quite so exciting?
Wednesday 18 April: Final week at last! Can’t believe how long this World Cup has gone on for, and everything that’s happened since it started. Roger, André, Herschelle and Justin setting fire to the hotel. AB’s voice breaking. The whole team reacting to the gumbo at dinner during the Sri Lanka game, and almost choking. The mystery of AB’s stuffed dinosaur being kidnapped by 'BD' (Billy Doctrove, we think). Herschelle getting six sixes in a row against Belgium. Months of cricket almost at an end; still one long and nerve-wracking week to go, though, until Australia. Have to admit I’m a little nervous.
Thursday 19 April: Slight injury worry after nets today. Have been working on a surprise bouncer with my arm ball, and dropped it fractionally short; hit my foot, and caused a surprising degree of pain. Makhaya collapsed laughing, which wasn’t terribly respectful — or terribly bright, considering I haven’t picked the team for the semifinal yet. Sat recovering while Andre bowled flat out for an hour, screaming abuse at the end of every follow-through. And that was just bowling to a stump…
Friday 20 April: Still no news on Barney, and AB has really gone into his shell. Tried to find Billy Doctrove in the phonebook, but no luck. Maybe it isn’t him responsible — but who else? Ashwell suggested Bangladesh, but that doesn’t really make sense. Mark suggested Barry Richards, because the short form of Richard is… and then collapsed laughing. Sometimes wicketkeepers can be very immature. Herschelle suggested the Scottish player Dougie Brown, as the initials match. Bishops education… Lots of discussion on the yacht we were on (took a break to spend some time out at sea), but still no luck. Did bump into a scuba diver as we docked, though, who emerged from the water behind the yacht. Baby-faced guy behind his mask, and his brief 'hello' sounded decidedly Afrikaans; something strangely familiar about him.
Saturday 21 April: Foot still a little sore, so left Mickey to run the net session (Percy hasn’t been seen for a couple of days, although housekeeping does have a growing collection of trousers, found each morning in the hotel bar). Did a bit of shopping to take my mind of things, and ended up with some awesome Caribbean curios (genuine stuff, not tourist rubbish): a giant conch shell (the West Indian vuvuzela, I reckon), a red, green and yellow knitted beret with fake dreadlocks (be great when I want to go shopping at Sandton City and avoid the paparazzi), and best of all, a Bob Marley Greatest Hits CD which — wait for it — he’d actually signed! Guy in a side street sold it to me; apparently, Bob signed the genuine stuff 'Marlee' for clandestine authenticity. Cost me a bit, but pretty damn cool. Emancipate yourself from the off-side…
Sunday 22 April: Dropped in at the police station just before practice, to pass on another piece of evidence, intercepted at reception — another letter to AB, with 'Wonder if Barney are flammable? Go home now!' scrawled on (and this is key) a piece of paper from the Bloemfontein Holiday Inn! Must mean the player or umpire responsible toured South Africa, and was involved with a game in Bloem! Another muted response from the sergeant on duty, who said he knew what was flammable, and wandered off clutching a bank bag. Takes a while to pick up the local lingo.
Monday 23 April: St. Lucia. Beautiful island, but not really in the mood for sightseeing. Great news for AB though — Barney's back! Police raided a hotel room early this morning, where there were reports of a woman being attacked; all they found was a stereo system, a couple of Patricia Lewis CDs, black and white photos of the team pinned to the wall — and Barney, minus one ear (I'll get Mickey to sew it back on). AB burst into tears, and phoned home immediately; great relief throughout the team. But who was the mystery 'BD'? Billy Doctrove? A rival player? A disaffected fan? I guess we’ll never know.
Tuesday 24 April: There’s a nervous edge to the team at the moment, very much the quiet before the storm. Andrew has been glued to his iPod, watching footage of The Big Show versus The Undertaker he downloaded this morning. Jacques and Mark argued whether to play five-day or one-day games on Brian Lara Cricket. Jonty did a couple of lacklustre cartwheels down the corridor, and then slumped down behind a copy of Adrenaline Junkie magazine. Then we watched the Sri Lanka game together; quite a performance. Sri Lanka in the final, if we get there. Won’t be much sleep tonight.
http://sport.iafrica.com/columns/dan_world/806488.htm
AuthorTopic: Dan's world - Graeme Smith's World Cup diary (Read 571 times)
September 18, 2006, 12:25:46 PM